stapes

The sibling of a Venus Flytrap. Likes to eat staples.

"That flower just ate my homework!"
"That's because it's a stapes."

by flowerpoewer September 1, 2009

Snakes on a Plane

This occurs when a person is flying on a plane and ends up spending most of the flight in the lavatory pooping. Most often occurs on return flights from Mexico or the Caribbean.

Boy, I never should have eaten that guacamole from the street vendor yesterday. Now I'm going to be in the lavatory watching snakes on a plane the whole flight home.

by Uncle Buck, Tennessee July 25, 2020

skater shakes

when you put a packet of sugar in a creamer, shake it up and drink it.

those skater shakes kept me buzzed all day.

by flamegirl05 June 26, 2006

two shakes of a chimps cock

To be there in a minute. The full version of 'there in two shakes'.

'I'll be there in two shakes of a chimps cock Vera', shouted Mavis before grabbing her coat, rushing to the front door and setting off for a good night at the bingo.

by chesterpest January 22, 2010

Two Shakes of a Lamb’s Tail

A term most commonly used amongst the sexually active elderly to describe a gentleman who’s pubic hair has gone white, long and untamed - completely hiding his penis, visually resembling the tail of a lamb. He gives his lady one pump in her front door and one pump in her back door (two shakes) before losing his erection and calling it a night. His lady is less than satisfied, but it’s better than nothing.

“Bernie, are you and Irene coming to bingo?”
“No, I’ve gotta get this bitch home to give her Two Shakes of a Lamb’s Tail. See you next week, if we’re not dead yet.”

by LambsTail May 2, 2018

for shit sakes

An expression of total discussed in someone as to why they cannot do something, and you feel as if they can at least do it for the sake of a piece of shit if nothing else at all matters.

Dad: Son, please take out the trash for your mother.
Son: But why? It is not like I have to do what you say and you can’t make me!
Dad: Well for shit sakes, you could at least do something around the house every now and then!

by Billy BullSchitter August 5, 2016

The United States of America

A fictional country that first appeared in the textbooks of every primary school as a country built upon the principles of freedom and liberty.

The United States of America is often confused with the actual countries, The United Corporations of America and the country, The Divided States of Amnesiacs.

All rational scholars agree that the United States of America never existed. Saying, "if it did ever exist, it only lasted between 1 to 5 minutes in the minds and hearts of those who conceived of such a nation."

Nevertheless, a loyal following of the fantasy country still exists. Elections are held every four years for an illusionary president. And the belief that the US is the greatest nation EVER is a requirement for membership in several fanatical groups.

Recently, however, growing dissatisfaction with the fantasy of The United States of America has led many people to even doubt the fairness of democracy. With proclamations that democracy is an illusion as well. Nothing more than the tyranny of the majority and the servant of the wealthy few. In turn, this has led many to look for other imaginary countries. Countries such as Narnia, Wakanda, Loompaland even the entire Marvel Universe have experienced a rapid influx of mental migrations in an attempt to escape the reality of a fantasy nation.

Sentences:

“The United States of America is the home of the free and a land under God!!”
“Good. Very good my child. Now, it is time to take your Batch-five medication, and then we’ll listen to and repeat today's Doublethink. Remember…Ignorance is Strength!"

by Wittyhandle October 19, 2021