Capitalism

You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

Normal guy: "Dude, your company just took a crap but you just bought that mansion! How'd you do it?"

Douchebag CEO: "Capitalism."

by DeskFlyer August 21, 2009

Captain Jack Harkness

Someone so sexy, his own name is a pickup line.

*Walks into a bar and sits next to random woman*
Hey, Captain Jack Harkness
*Everybody in the bar has sex with him*

by LiftedStarfish March 4, 2017

Washington Capital Syndrome

Sports teams that can beat the best teams but lose to the crappy ones.

The Washington Caps are the best team in the NHL but lose to 23 ranked Tampa bay lighting ie "Washington Capital Syndrome"

by jilly jackerson March 13, 2010

Mayday! Cried The Captain

the most kickass band ever to form around ocala, florida. they play Technologimetalcore, and have the best live show i've ever seen.

Sal and Kyle are the singer and keyboardist for Mayday! Cried the Captain

by meltdownCAR5 January 30, 2009

Captain Gayhab

An insult referring to the almost piratical amounts of gayness being exhibited by a person. Also a nod to "Captain Ahab" from Herman Melville's Moby Dick, so one can appear homophobic and well read at the same time. Fantastic.

"Hey Captain Gayhab, haven't you a brown whale to harpoon?"

by SamuelL.Jack July 2, 2009

Captain Digiorno

A person who really loves making digiorno pizza, especially at 2 o clock in the morning. What makes a true captain digiorno though is that this person will wear the empty pizza box on his head for the rest of the night or morning.

We got really wasted last night and we were really hungry, captain digiorno came to the rescue.

by Sargeant Sweatpants August 6, 2009

captain sauce the youtuber

A nerdy youtuber ready to play any game even if the people don’t like it but in any sense incredibly funny

Captain sauce? Do you mean captain sparkles

Me: no captain sauce the youtuber

A nerdy youtuber ready to play any game even if the people don’t like it but in any sense incredibly funny

by Gay nerd of all cats August 18, 2019