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Hank Boontz

The largest lumberjack, this side of the Mississippi. He can wrestle 3 bears with one hand behind is back.

Hank hasn't spoken to his children in over 15 years. He doesn't pay child support.

Hank lives in a cabin in North Minnesota, where he lives with four squirrels. There were originally 5, but there was a fatality, during a thumb wrestling match. Rest In Peace, poor Billy.

Hank has a robust collection of flannel shirts. Used to model for Black and Decker.

Member of the Dean Koontz Family Tree.
Squirrel 1: Hank Boontz, don't do it!

Hank: He shouldn't of disrespected me.

Squirrel 2: Hank, I don't think he knew that was your wife's closet.

Squirrel 5: I'm sorry! I won't do it again!

Hank: Challenge me to a thumb wrestling match for your life.

Splonald, from out of the corner: Did you guys remember to pick up cheese?

Squirrel 4: Yea, I got it.

Splonald: Thanks. *relinquishes back to the corner*

Squirrel 5: Tell your wife those acorns aren't for her. And those were the only nuts I was talking about busting in your wife's closet.

Hank after landing the final blow on Squirrel 5: Well shit, this is awkward.

Squirrel 3: THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS!
by Hank Boontz May 4, 2021
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wookity bookity

Ronald: Hey, you seen Lovely's Wookity Bookity?
Jamal: yeah man i fucked her wookity bookity soo good.
by asherisrudy April 26, 2022
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Related Words
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Boujee Bonita

A person; usually a woman; of Latin descent that has personality characteristics of a “Karen”

A Latina who calls Taco stands ghetto; calls the police for fireworks on the 4th of July; most older women in Downey, CA; calls the police for a mild party on a Friday night; ETC
“Eww stop being such a Boujee Bonita! “

“Man some Boujee Bonita just called the police on me for playing music on my JBL Flip! It’s a small speaker !??!”
by J idea May 14, 2022
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The boonies

Wow Alex and Jess really live in the boonies? Yea! All the way in East sac.
by BxBaddies June 3, 2022
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Casa Bonita

(verb) To rush or race through a place or event due to time constraint. A quick browse to hit all the highlights.
Derives from the television show, South Park.
If my husband comes with me to HomeGoods, I have to casa bonita the entire store.

Kids, we only get one day at Disneyland. We'll have to casa bonita it.
by PvtSweetheart July 19, 2022
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Di Bonitis

Di Bonitis happens when one finds himself a social drain on those around them. They have highly boring tendencies and their social skills relapse to our primitive primatial ancestors. They have extreme allergic reactions to what one would consider FUN. It is often said that they can be seen sat lonely in their room like a grizzly bear in hibernation.
Oh, he used to be so fun, he must have caught Di Bonitis.

Wevens I think you have come down with a case of Di Bonitis
by osh123_123 January 17, 2023
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Oogity Boogity Boo

Oogity boogity boo, Timothis George
by anonymous June 13, 2023
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