jewish-buddhists (jubus)

A Jewish person who finds fulfillment in Buddhist philosophy and practices, but has not given up their Jewish identity. Mostly found in those of the "baby boomer" generation who were unsatisfied with a stauch, unfeeling Judaism of the 1950's and 1960's. For an excellent illustration of this group of Jews who make up rougly 30% of practicing Buddhists in America see "Jew in the Lotus," by Rodger Kamenetz.

A Jew who matintains a Jewish sensibility as well as a Buddhist mentality.

by Lauren Trexler-Berg September 28, 2004

Jewish House Arrest

When a Jewish person is stuck at home on a Friday night because their family keeps the Sabbath.

Robert: Hey Julie are you coming out tonight.
Julie: No, I can't I'm under Jewish House Arrest.
Robert: Okay, Shabbat Shalom.

by polbo December 31, 2010

Jewish Hula Hoop

When an erect penis is placed inside the hole of a bagel and the bagel is then spun around in a fashion resembling that of a hula hoop.

Peter was disqualified from the Jewish Hula Hoop World Series (JHHWS) after testing positive for Viagra.

by Marco Pollo October 1, 2014

Jewish Tune-Up

The act of putting one's car up for sale.

My car is running like shit so I gave it a Jewish tune-up.

by magooooooooooooo February 3, 2008

Dirty Jewish Pirate

When you are recieving head, pull out and squirt her in the eye. Then kick her in the shin. When she's hobbling around with one eye, you steal her purse and run.

I banged a highclass callgirl and made money in the deal, I gave her a Dirty Jewish Pirate.

by Captain Slappy August 1, 2008

Jewish Guilt trip

A Jewish Guilt Trip is the course of action taken upon a Jew when one feels they need to get there way. a Jewish guilt trip is more powerful then anything in this universe and can be very dangerous if not used correctly. Jewish mothers use this power quite a lot. These are performed best by Jews.

classic Jewish Guilt Trips

speaker 1-"hey are you going to eat the last bagel?"
Jew-"oh no go ahead take it"
speaker 1-"you sure?"
Jew-"positive, go right ahead enjoy"
speaker 1-"you sure?, cause it's ok, really, like i don't really want it"
Jew-"no it's fine, sure i haven't eaten in days and could probably die, but please, enjoy"
speaker 1-"oh no i can't, here have it"
-----
"what i come all this way, and you offer me nothing to drink, nothing to nibble on, what kind of hospitality is this? I assure you if you had traveled the distance I have i would have a nice spread of snacks for you"

by Roni Goldburger February 23, 2009

Jewish Nuclear Warfare

What happens when two jews spot a quarter and fight for it.

Yo! Did you see Ezra and Abraham in science? Mark dropped a quarter and Jewish Nuclear Warfare happened.

by Slenderson209 November 16, 2015