Quantum Messaging Services

Quantum Physics Services offered by quantumnina.com, who has a genetic quantum nuclear mutation, that often gets mistaken as psychic abilities, magic, fraud, aliens, artificial intelligence, or deity origins.
Quantumnina.com is so cool that she delivers lotteries to people from the future to quantum leap money 50% with clients using her quantum messaging services and she also quantum leaps the government to make decisions faster so they stop wasting all of our taxes wasting time on bullshit.
by QUANTUM NINA November 10, 2024
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Self on digital services

Wordplay on cellphone digital services. Basically just a fancy way of saying masturbation
Bill to his wife Linda: self on digital services. Hmmm. Hon are you upgrading your plan? Linda: not unless they can provide me with extra fingers!
by 4realazitgits April 03, 2021
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service animal™️

A pet whose owner claims is a service animal (ie. required because of the owner's disability and trained to perform accessibility functions), when in fact the owner is not disabled and is exploiting the leniency of local accessibility laws* to get their pet into no-pet spaces.

Usually owned by irresponsible Karens, Service Animals™️ are the bane of retail workers, other customers, and the disabled community, especially owners of actual service animals. More persistent and manipulative Karens will threaten to sue for discrimination if they are called out for the Service Animal™️'s damages, in a gambit to absolve themselves of any responsibilty for their crimes.

* As an example of this: In California, retail workers are not allowed to ask for evidence (such as legal documents) that the animal accompanying the customer is indeed a service animal; this is considered discrimination. The most that workers are allowed to do is ask the following two questions: "Is the animal required because of a disability?" and "Whatt function has the animal been trained to perform?"
Cashier: Excuse me, pets are not allowed in the store.
Karen: This is my service animal. It says so on the sign back there, "service animals excepted".
Cashier: What function is the service animal trained to perform?
Karen: She's uh, my seeing-eye animal.
Cashier: Even though you can see well enough to read that 14-point text back there, okay.

(a while later...)

Cashier: Excuse me, you and your service animal™️ are gonna have to leave, she's barking at customers and shitting on the floor.
Karen: How dare you!! That's discrimination! I want to speak to the manager!
by Raymoo May 13, 2020
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service beer

A beer you can take anywhere, church airplanes, grocery stores ect..
Security: Sir you can't drink in here. Customer: "yes, I can. This is a service beer"
by Sickgnar November 16, 2020
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Full of a bunch of lego city cops with massive egos.
Did you hear that the MILITARY INTELLIGENCE SERVICE put Connor on administrative leave again?
by Rouge MNG Private November 18, 2020
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moon service

Ordering room service very late . Eating late night in hotel room through room services.
We ordered moon service last night after the party.
by Mookaveli August 30, 2015
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Well, THANK you --- FINALLY! Dat is what I've been waiting to hear for da last three minutes!
Advice to CEOs everywhere: Most of da folks who call your service-center will need to verbally inquire/protest about their matter of business --- i.e., their question or issue is not something dat they can resolve themselves by merely using your automated phone system --- and so why not offer them DAT option FIRST, rather than making them suffer through a whole tedious-and-useless-to-them menu-litany before their exasperated ears eventually hear da welcome words, "To speak with a customer service representative, press 9"?! Why subject their distressed/confused/hurried selves to those other eight "press one for this, press two for this" possibilities which they very seldom could use, anyway?!
P.S. And yes, we already know da answer to this question: namely, da board of directors hope dat one of da other non-human-interaction options will work for a particular caller, thus saving da company time and money by having to hire fewer phone-secretaries. But da point here is dat this so seldom actually happens in real life --- again, most people who call customer service do so precisely because they ARE needing to speak to someone at da company about their problem --- and so why needlessly delay them from getting da info and/or assistance they need to resolve their issue, when most of them are gonna end up having to speak to a customer service rep anyway, and so those other options dat you're offering them will seldom actually save any time or additional-employee salaries in da end?
by QuacksO May 20, 2023
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