Hate wank

To masturbate furiously in a mental state of self-loathing.

"My life is so pointless, I have nothing else to do so I'm gonna retreat to my pissy little bedroom and have a HATE WANK."

by spyanuk October 2, 2005

aussie wank

First developed by Dale Hunt, an Aussie Wank is when a man masterbates to Kangaroo Porn. While drinking as many Fosters as possible before ejaculation.

Fuck me that was a long aussie wank, got through 24 fosters.

by Aussie Dale May 3, 2015

Wake and wank

The act of waking up and masturbating.

Person: I had a wake and wank session this morning after dreaming about Stacy's mom.

by WaywardPrincess April 27, 2017

Crossfit wank

Someone who partakes in the sport of Crossfit and all they do is go on and on about it to everyone else as if nothing else in life matters

Alan “oh I wish I could lift this box up without it hurting my back”
Caroline “well if you did Crossfit you wouldn’t have a sore back”
Alan “omg you are such a Crossfit wank”

by Fflech July 3, 2018

Plank Wank

The act of masturbating in a plank like pose.

YOU GUYS ARE DISTRACTING ME FROM MY PLANK WANK.

My favorite way to masturbate is to Plank Wank.

by v-a-t-s September 6, 2013

Horlicks Wank

The wank you have before you go to bed, so you fall straight to sleep.. similar to a mug of horlicks.

Horlicks Wank

by upton32 February 24, 2011

Chicken Wank

The act of masturbating with the inside crease of your elbow thus resembling a chicken flapping its wing.

I had the best chicken wank of my life last night!

by SexuallyActive September 22, 2014