Hate wank

To masturbate furiously in a mental state of self-loathing.

"My life is so pointless, I have nothing else to do so I'm gonna retreat to my pissy little bedroom and have a HATE WANK."

by spyanuk October 2, 2005

Wake and wank

The act of waking up and masturbating.

Person: I had a wake and wank session this morning after dreaming about Stacy's mom.

by WaywardPrincess April 27, 2017

PBS and wank

An alternative activity available to those who are too poor and too unattractive to "Netflix and chill."

My man Dio ain't got no job and ain't got no girl. So that fool has to PBS and wank this Friday.

by gonzobrains August 13, 2016

Wank Tights

A more classier version of the 'Wank Sock'. Wank tights are the connoisseurs choice for masturbation.

'ere Terry I much prefer the "Wank Tights" to the sock, its so much more silky, depending on the denier.

by haybarner January 22, 2010

aussie wank

First developed by Dale Hunt, an Aussie Wank is when a man masterbates to Kangaroo Porn. While drinking as many Fosters as possible before ejaculation.

Fuck me that was a long aussie wank, got through 24 fosters.

by Aussie Dale May 3, 2015

Honour Wank

When you masturbate especially in honour of someone you love, admire or miss. You do this without the need of porn and it is considered more special than any other types of masturbation.

e.g. Me: Mate, I just had an honour wank over Jennifer. God I think she's the one.
Friend: You fucking weirdo

by AsianEquations April 21, 2014

Crossfit wank

Someone who partakes in the sport of Crossfit and all they do is go on and on about it to everyone else as if nothing else in life matters

Alan “oh I wish I could lift this box up without it hurting my back”
Caroline “well if you did Crossfit you wouldn’t have a sore back”
Alan “omg you are such a Crossfit wank”

by Fflech July 3, 2018