Masturbation

Mass Murder of tiny defenseless Sperm

If Masturbation is Mass Murder then does that make someone who Masturbates EVIL

by Anomynose October 19, 2017

Yellow Pages masturbation

Female masturbation without the use of any implements, using one's fingers instead. From the Yellow Pages catch-phrase "Let your fingers do the walking".

Monica didn't own a vibrator, so she satisfied herself with Yellow Pages masturbation.

by Nostradumbass11 January 13, 2010

masturbation

slamming the noodle
tickling the hoe
cooking the turkey

Gabby's tickling the hoe with Luke masturbation.
Beka's cooking the turkey with Danielmasturbation.

by mikeikes June 3, 2009

Masterlation

The relaying of information about your masturbation techniques.

I gave Mary a whole lot of masterlation last night. She was thrilled.

by Poop Nostrils May 11, 2010

masterhation

when you masterbate to someone you hate.

That bitch Kim is getting on my nerves, but shes so hot. Time for some masterhation

by trilla king January 3, 2011

Masturbation Madness March

A lot like destroy dick december but with a little twist, starting March 1st, you haft to ejaculate 10 times per day until April 1st.

Person one: Wait, are you actually participating in Masturbation Madness March!?!

Person two: Yeah man, it seems scary but I have confidence that I can do it.

by abr3948 January 1, 2019

the masturbation defense

The universal alibi used by criminal defense attorneys and criminals. The accused will use the "I was at home masturbating" defense to avoid conviction. Defense will provide dna evidence and semen samples to the prosicution resulting in an acquittal, mostly.

detective: Sir, we know you did it we know you lured those minors. you also have alot of teenage boys and girls on your facebook page. We have witnesses and physical evidence linking you to these crimes.

handjob Bob: I was at home masturbating, mostly. You want proof?

detective: "The masturbation defense" huh? you have surviellance video of you masturbating?

handjob Bob: Better, I have DNA evidence and witnesses who can back that up.

by TheFirst48 January 22, 2010