by tcagle October 14, 2007
Man who was nailed to a tree for stating how good it would be to be nice to each other, for a change.
Nearly 2 thousand years after Jesus, a young girl suddenly realized what was wrong with the world, but before she could tell anybody, the world was destroyed by a vogon constructor fleet, paving way for a hyper-space bypass.
by Jloman May 16, 2006
Jesus is sometimes a very sensitive guy. he loves to listen to peaceful music while he does almost anything. he is attractive to some people. he never gives up. he stands back up and fights for what he wants👹
by darling🤤👹❤️ October 25, 2019
Everyone who dies and then comes back to life are zombies.
Jesus died and then came back to life. Jesus is a zombie
Jesus died and then came back to life. Jesus is a zombie
by Imaeetufacof June 12, 2007
Jesus is the Bread of Life and the Image of the Invisible God. He has influenced millions of lives, and continues to teach through his divine word.
"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn ' A man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law-- a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.' Anyone who loves his father or mother more that me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Quote from Jesus Matthew 10: 34-39
by Marteel April 21, 2006
Contrary to many artistic renditions, Jesus appeared in the form of a rather plain looking man and is looked up to by Christians as the Lord and Saviour of the mankind, and has referred to himself as the King of The Jews on more than one occasion. He was born in a small village in Bethlehem around 0 A.D. where the historical biblical character King David was also from. Throughout Christ's ministry, many of Israel's most well known rulers and religious elite were offended with his authoritative and new approach to teaching scriptures that conflicted with their traditions. He taught that men should love God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength, and that they ought to love their neighbors as themselves, which confliced with many Pharisees' views of law at the time. A very large church with many denominations was founded upon his teachings and has spread to just about every nation in the world.
Jesus Christ's coming announced by angels in the King James Version bible still read by many Christians today:
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
by Nimrod Nineveh November 14, 2009
The religious figurehead of christianity; defined as a child of the middle east (who aren't white), usually pictured as a white guy, and for some reason using his name in vain only applies when someone else has more pull in christianity.
Possibly Superman
Possibly Superman
"You know jesus died for your sins!"
"I know. That's why I sin so much. I wouldn't want him to have died in vain!"
"That's blasphemy!"
"Dude, you have been to church a total of 2 times more than me. Tis points sytem sucks!"
"I know. That's why I sin so much. I wouldn't want him to have died in vain!"
"That's blasphemy!"
"Dude, you have been to church a total of 2 times more than me. Tis points sytem sucks!"
by G.L. Wolf April 8, 2008