Combover wanker

A combover wanker is a new wave of asshole, they usually have a combover and talk about "swag" alot. They refer to "lad culture" regularly, yet they don't realise that getting clap at a house party and using yolo as an excuse to be a dick isn't "lad culture". They are commonly found in the age gap 14-25. They can be identified by their hair, snapbacks, ironic band shirts and share a mentality similar to the common hipster. They like to attack people who aren't "combover wankers" and often put these "attacks" on vine to get likes. They also try to latch on to other peoples things, for example, many combover hipsters wear baggy jeans and call theirselves "indie", despite the fact that they only ever heard a stone roses song once in their car with their dad one time when they were ten. These people are also similar to the cretins seen on shows like towie or made in Chelsea.

(Jon turns up wearing a nirvana shirt)
Peter: hey I like your shirt, are you a nirvana fan?
Jon: oh yeah I love teen spirit
Peter: I'm a kurt cobain fan myself
Jon: who the fucks kurt cobain I found this shirt at a house party,yolo!
Jon is a Combover wanker

by Polish Paul June 13, 2013

crusty wanker

someone who sits and plays there xbox all day and dosnt bathe

hey wanna go to my party, nah im having a lan party, whatta crusty wanker

by lolzorpoop September 8, 2010

Briefcase Wanker

When you really wanna get to someone they fucking piss you the shitty balls off.

You fucking briefcase wanker! I'll get you, you little slag!

by PlayMakeReview July 17, 2021

wanker's cocoa

Finding it hard to get to sleep? A visit from mother palm and her five daughters and you'll be in the Land of Nod in next to no time.

"I couldn't sleep a wink last night."

"Should have made yourself a wanker's cocoa, mate."

by Yigman April 16, 2019

nipple wanker

A person that wanks to nipples

Nate stop being a nipple wanker to other males.

by TheFuckboydownthestreet May 20, 2016

wankers chat

the worst and best group chat to exist. terrifying and full of mentally ill gays. a bunch of kpoppies, parxies, and emos. tends to defy human logic and should be sued for causing mental, emotional, and psychological damage.

consists of:

I'm not supposed to name people wtf yall know who you are anyways theres almost 30 of us

"Hey have you heard of the wankers chat?"
"yes and i want nothing to do with it"

by walmartshoppingcart June 29, 2021

water wanker

A water wanker is one of those annoying people who uses very frequent breaks for water (and making everyone else wait) as an excuse to avoid/have time to recover because they can't hack a pace of a game/sport/workout.

Can we just play this game please?

No we can't because John is having yet another drink break - what a water wanker!

by Tormentedjedi November 24, 2014