Genre of Movie containing a mixture of the following:
The trailer or introduction is always read out by the same guy, you know the one, him with the deep croaky voice; "IN THE LAND BEFORE THE TIME OF ...."
The hero, who even though he has has muscles in his shite wears a short little skirt thing no matter what the weather and a pair of sandals.
His village, parents or pet gerbil get wiped out by the bad guy.
He meets a mentor who is an old man of vaguelly Asian appearance who will train him in martial art and motivate him.
He is given a mythical weapon, usually a bloody great broadsword or axe that would give lesser men a double hernia just to lift up, it sometimes has a name.
He will meet up with and make friends with some very strange characters during the movie.
He will meet up with and make enemies of some very strange characters during the movie.
At one stage he will be captured and tortured, making him grunt, sweat and writhe a lot before his improbable escape, probally a plus for the ladies.
He will need to find some kind of talisman or jewel to defeat his enemy.
His enemy will be pug ugly, really evil and have some weakness that the talisman or jewel will exploit, he may have a dodgy sidekick to break up the dramatic flow with a sprinkling of humor.
The enemy may leave something behind before he gets his just deserts, for the sequel.
The trailer or introduction is always read out by the same guy, you know the one, him with the deep croaky voice; "IN THE LAND BEFORE THE TIME OF ...."
The hero, who even though he has has muscles in his shite wears a short little skirt thing no matter what the weather and a pair of sandals.
His village, parents or pet gerbil get wiped out by the bad guy.
He meets a mentor who is an old man of vaguelly Asian appearance who will train him in martial art and motivate him.
He is given a mythical weapon, usually a bloody great broadsword or axe that would give lesser men a double hernia just to lift up, it sometimes has a name.
He will meet up with and make friends with some very strange characters during the movie.
He will meet up with and make enemies of some very strange characters during the movie.
At one stage he will be captured and tortured, making him grunt, sweat and writhe a lot before his improbable escape, probally a plus for the ladies.
He will need to find some kind of talisman or jewel to defeat his enemy.
His enemy will be pug ugly, really evil and have some weakness that the talisman or jewel will exploit, he may have a dodgy sidekick to break up the dramatic flow with a sprinkling of humor.
The enemy may leave something behind before he gets his just deserts, for the sequel.
Bill: Arnold Schwarzenegger is on television tonight in a sword and sandal movie.
Bob: I would rather watch Rambo, the plot is so different.
Bob: I would rather watch Rambo, the plot is so different.
by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004
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