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Master Noob

The Master Noob is an almost otherworldly creature who creepishly influences all noobs. He is the only noob who can actually bring order to any noob pr noob infestation. If, say, a large amount of noobs overran a forum, the Master Noob could, with a small order, make all noobs leave forever! Although, there is a few catches. The Master Noob is the only one of its kind, meaning there can be no other. He does get lonely because he will only ever be able to a noob, not even able to advance to a newb. Though, most of the time he can handle this.

Noobs have no inherent knowledge of the Master Noob as he communicates subconsciously, never abling the noobs to know his whereabouts. His anatomy is that of a human, slightly large around the edges, and tall. He comes once a generation, and this time he has taken form as me, an Australian. This proves I am correct in what I say, and you know have read the word of the Master Noob.

The Master Noob also carries the heavy burden of being responsible for the stupidity of his kind. He takes their knowledge as he goes sifting through stupid thoughts from smart, and taking the latter for himself. Though without this their would never be a sense of authority between noobs, and although rarely seen, noobs have been seen forming an extremely effective strike force against any foe, and this is result purely of the Master Noob's coordination skills.

He is present in the minds of all noobs, and strives to give noobs a straight path towards to becoming newbs and eventually pros. This is an extremely demanding task and he can not undertake this alone. He does appoint senior noobs in large colonies to help him out. He does stay in contact with many of his well trained newbs. They give him tips on the outside world to make his job easier.

To conclude, I will list 10 points that give a good idea of the Master Noob:

1. He is the controller of all noobs
2. He is the trainer of all future newbs
3. He is a slightly wide and tall creature
4. He copes very well with being surrounded by complete ___imbosiles
5. He is effective in controlling the noobs
6. There can be only 1 Master Noob per generation, although __ many claim to be the Master Noob
7. The Master Noob has very high intelligence
8. In truth the Master Noob is really a pro, but the laws ___ of nature forbid him to ever becom higher than noob
9. He is of human appearance but many beleive he is from ___Mars
10. He will bring to salvation to all noobs, on the day of ___ Noobment (which is an unexplainable phenomena)
(radio broadcast) Master Noob brought salvation to 3000 noobs this quarter thanks to the Halo 3 Xbox live player 'HAL0 FR3AK' and assorted foes.

(recently promoted noob) 0h YtER!!!11 teh MASTER NOOB jst gto ME newb rank!!!! hwO good is taht 11!!!1 time 4for som pwnage!!!!!
Translation: Oh yeah!!!!! The Master Noob just got me newb rank!!!! How good is that!!!!!! Time for some pwnage!!!!!
by The Master Noob March 25, 2008
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masterbasser

one who plays a k7 bass guitar and masterbates at the same time.
dick is a masterbasser
by sin dolly December 21, 2003
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fetus master

the one who owned a fetus with a coat hanger
i just became a fetus master when my girlfriend got pregnant
by fetus captain April 16, 2007
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Mirror Masterbation

Tom: I'm so hot I'd masterbate to myself.

Bill: You what?

Tom: Ever heard of Mirror Masterbation?

Bill: No... That sounds nasty.
by Flawless23 April 21, 2011
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bridge master

The person ultimately responsible for the running of a bridge including making important decisions. Typically the highest level and highest paying job in the team.
Manager: Hi there gorgeous, I'm John and I am the bridge master of the largest suspension bridge in the country. Isn't that impressive! Now, can I buy you a drink?
by Mentirosa July 17, 2011
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swag master general

having far more swag and the knowledge of, than anybody else that you have been appointed into an official postion regarding swag.
hey have you seen kyler S?

who is that

you know the swag master general
by swag master general September 28, 2011
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Swag Master

A person who walks with a bounce in their step and makes anything look like it's more fun than it actually is.
Can also be used as 'swagga mister' in appropriate situations of complete spectacularity.
Look at Matt the swag master walking down the street with his hat turner sideways! He's got his swagga on today!
by Ginny Jay October 5, 2010
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