Mommy Pee break

The time when kids get up to the craziest things, run amok and tear the house down. Usually happens when the mother has to relieve her bladder.
Can lead to rooms being destroyed and/or infanticide.

Candice: "Omfg! I was in the bathroom for ONE MINUTE! And when I came back, the plasma TV is broken on the floor, the ADSL cable had been chewed off, my two year old is covered in body cream, there is food on the ground and the dog is spraypainted green!"

Jacques: "Sounds like your standard Mommy Pee Break. Seriously, if the house was not set on fire and your kids are still in one piece, you count yourself lucky"

Candice: "What?! You think this is funny? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I DO ALL DAY?

Jacques: "Calm down, it's okay, I'm..."

Candice: "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH ELAINE!"

Jacques: "Wait, what, who told you?!"

Candice: "I FUCKING SAW YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Jacques: ...

by laserswordofdeath +3 April 19, 2018

hobo's breakfast

A meal at the beginning of the day consisting mainly of unwanted oral sex, boiled beans, and rummaging.

**Some cultures follow up with a half bottle of mouthwash or a few cap fulls of isopropyl alcohol.

Old Junkyard Bob was surprised when he awoke to Slippery Sam serving him a hobo's breakfast on Christmas morning.

by do0tz December 1, 2017

Flipping a breaker

Having sex with a stay at home moms. Usually by pool boys and electricians

Arron was flipping a breaker at Mrs. Johnson's house

by SDC_Lc December 20, 2017

bestfriend heart break

a best friend heart break is when who you thought was ur bestfriend plays with ur mind over and over again until one day your heart just shatters

bestfriend: “i love you and your my bestfriend “. and I’ll just say that to hurt cause I’m lying.
Chloe: thank you for taking my heart and then breaking it. my bestfriend heart break

by ccn553 December 16, 2017

The post-breakfast club

That sad half table at lunch with Bella, Meghan, Jacob, and Lili

Yo! You see those people over there, that’s The Post-breakfast Club.......I know, tragic.

by TheChocolatePig May 8, 2018

No Bathroom Breaks

“No Bathroom Breaks” is a word only used by someone who is in their late 40s and is probably going to go no where in their life.

Student 1: Sir, May I please go the bathroom... I got to shit.
Teacher 1: No Bathroom Breaks.
Student 1: *shits bricks on teachers keyboard while singing “Rockstar” by Postmalone*

by FatPat_P March 6, 2018

dog's breakfast

Dogs allowed to roam free in rural areas will sometimes kill and eat small wild animals, thereby acquiring intestinal worm infestations. This can cause them to vomit in the night. Not every dog in that situation, but some, will then eat their own vomit, now-dead worms and all, when they wake in the morning.

Woke to find that Harley had already made his own dog's breakfast - puked up that rabbit he caught, plus some roundworms, and was re-eating the whole mess off the floor in the summer kitchen, by the wood stove.

by baumhauer01 August 3, 2018