Mommy Pee break

The time when kids get up to the craziest things, run amok and tear the house down. Usually happens when the mother has to relieve her bladder.
Can lead to rooms being destroyed and/or infanticide.

Candice: "Omfg! I was in the bathroom for ONE MINUTE! And when I came back, the plasma TV is broken on the floor, the ADSL cable had been chewed off, my two year old is covered in body cream, there is food on the ground and the dog is spraypainted green!"

Jacques: "Sounds like your standard Mommy Pee Break. Seriously, if the house was not set on fire and your kids are still in one piece, you count yourself lucky"

Candice: "What?! You think this is funny? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I DO ALL DAY?

Jacques: "Calm down, it's okay, I'm..."

Candice: "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH ELAINE!"

Jacques: "Wait, what, who told you?!"

Candice: "I FUCKING SAW YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Jacques: ...

by laserswordofdeath +3 November 4, 2017

Mommy Pee break

A Mommy Pee Break is when a mother goes to the loo for a second and the kids decide to use that exact moment to raise all sorts of hell and run amok. Usually ends up in the house being trashed or burned down.

Candice: I just left them for a second and when I came back, all hell was loose! The ADSL cable is unplugged, the flatscreen TV has been demolished, my two year old is covered in cream, my perfume has been thrown down the sink and the dog has been painted green! All in the time it took for me to have a pee!

Jacques: Sounds like a standard Mommy Pee Break. If they are still alive and the house is still standing, we are doing good.

Candice: FML

by laserswordofdeath +3 November 4, 2017