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Masturbating

Something we all do but are too afraid to admit it. If you think that I'm lying when saying we all do it, then take a look at the stats: 40 million Americans consider themselves regular visitors to porn sites.
"I just masturbated," said Creepy Clyde.
OR
"I love masturbating," explained someone.
by Where the frogs February 26, 2017
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Masturbation Shame

An intense feeling of self hatred and shame one will receive after masturbating, often when they have masturbated to something that may be considered deviated or weird.
The feeling I get after I masturbate to intense Triple Fisting is referred to as Masturbation Shame.
by David Daunt July 15, 2016
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Masturbation Medium

He found his true purpose in Colorado as a masturbation medium. He just knew if you masturbated that day.
by Rocco O August 22, 2020
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Masturbation

The thing everybody does, but no one will admit to doing.

Also called

Jacking off
Beating the meat
etc.
Person 1: Do you masturbaste?

Person 2: Uh... no... of course not... do you?

Person 1: No... why would I do that... It's gross...

Person 2: Of course... masturbation is bad...
by Teh Sexinator May 3, 2009
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masturdate

A term that was first coined on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Masturdate is an intentional pun of masturbate. In this lewd yet satisfying activity, one will engage on an ordinary date with his/herself and with the objective to impress and please only themself. Usually, a successful masturdate is followed by myriad hours of masturbation.
Canada's Stop At Third Abstinence Program condones that more teenagers should embrace the pleasures of a masturdate without shame and with an intact dignity.
by shazzantbot January 11, 2006
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Madsturbation

The act of masturbating to vent anger. Usually practiced by teens who listen to Slipknot or Korn.
Madsturbation is widely frowned upon by the public, but it is a great way for weird kids to channel their hatred at their penises!
by Dillypoo November 3, 2009
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emotional masturbation

v. 1. Making negative comment about oneself expecting a positive and opposite remark from another;
Jane "I'm fat" Dick "No you aren't"
by Ben Johnson October 4, 2004
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