Computer Time

That warp in the space-time continuum that happens when you get on the computer "for a few minutes" to check your email and the next time you look at the clock, it's 4 hours later. Similar to what happened to people in the movie "Looker".
Also akin to the NFL minute.

Man: "Honey, I'll be up for dinner in a few minutes, I've got to check my email."

Woman: "You said that last night. By the time you check your email, read the headlines, check your stocks, play Zuma, look for car parts on eBay, watch a few YouTube videos and download music to your iPod, it'll be midnight! A few minutes in 'computer time' is like a few years in dog years!"

Man: "True dhat!"

by Turkey Trot April 3, 2011

Computer Ninja

The Ninja and a computer virus have many in common.

-Ninja from feudal ages of Japan disguised there selves as Merchants, Geisha, Travellers, Farmers anything that would make them look harmless to blend in or any disguised like Geisha, Priests, Musicians that would make it easy for them to get in to an enemy castles

-A computer virus disguised itself as a normal program or a fake antivirus like Security Shield to make itself look harmless to blend in or diguised as an add from the internet to make it easy for them to get in to a your computer

-A Shogun (War general) would send a ninja to steel important information like battle plans or assassinate enemy Shoguns

-A Hacker would send a virus to steel important information or destroy your computer

-The ninja powned the samurai using stealth tactics same with the computer virus powning crap Fire walls or crap anti viruses like MacAfee, Norton, Avast, etc. I know from experience don’t hate me…Samurai were equivalent to crap anti viruses so when a samurai tries to protect/guarded his Shogun, chances of a samurai were 2/10 against a ninja

-The only thing strong enough to protect a shogun from a ninja was another ninja so back then Tokogawa the shogun used them as Body guards disguised as his gardeners.

-AVG is equivalent to Tokogawa's ninjas. If you need to defend yourself against computer ninjas get AVG it's free, search it up.

Example:

Dude1: Hey dude im under attack by a computer ninja, But I Have Avast though Im saved

Dude2:Hahahahahaha!!!

Dude1:????

Dude2:dude your dealing with a NINJA! Its a freaking Ninja!!!

Dude1:n?

Dude2:I used to have avast it couldnt even remove a worm. Only a ninja can beat a ninja, Get AVG

by WayOfDaShadowarrior March 11, 2012

computer junkie

a computer junkie plays on the pc all day he wakes up with the monitor and goes to sleep with the monitor. he probably browses the internet all day and plays video games.

you're a fucking computer junkie

by superman2324 January 30, 2016

computer nerd

someone, around 18-50, who knows what this means:

std::cout << "only l33t hax0r computer nerds will get this";

by some hackerman January 26, 2019

apple computer

A piece of junk, often used as a doorstop or paper weight. Also see wordshit/word or wordcrap/word.

I'll trade you this paperclip for that apple computer.

by Wiseguy June 29, 2003

apple computer

An overpriced and underpowered piece of crap. A silly device that the owners of claim is faster than anyone elses computer but, will cheat on benchmarks.

ooow my G5 is so much faster when I optimize the OS to run only the benchmark and nothing else (apple users all ware clown shoes)

by Anonymous July 4, 2003

computer

A machine consisting of a CPU, mainboard, hard drive, optical drives such as DVD and CD, sometimes floppy drive, monitor, video card, sound card, speakers, keyboard and mouse and lots of other shit.

At one time used for scientific research, they evolved into office machines for writing documents and organizing information. Computers are most often used for Internet access and to chat online with friends, and play games like Unreal Tournament, Grand Theft Auto, Doom, Quake, Descent and others.

My computer runs WinXP. It doesn't crash as much as it did with Win98.

by shadowhawk April 25, 2004