ur mom a cactus

The worst insult ever known to mankind. It means that someone is not only a prick, they're the whole cactus. This extremely offensive word was believed to have originated in the Medieval ages or before that. It is the worst insult ever. 'ur mom a cactus' is even worse than 'ur mom gay', 'ur papa a nazi', 'ur gran gran a trans man', 'ur dad a lesbian', 'ur cousin a muffin' and the N word. It is not a bad as 'ur mom trans' and 'ur papi nazi'. This word is also worse than 'Karen'.
Karen: Why did you block me? Ur mom gay.

Donna: Ur mom a cactus.

Karen: That hurts.

Donna: Just avoid ur mom and you'll be fine.

Karen: I'm gay.

Donna: Yes.
by Pigeon girl June 22, 2020
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mad cactus

Damn, I went home with him last night, but his dick had so much hair...it was a mad cactus!
by poopyheadmeanyface November 03, 2011
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Sniping cactus

A complete retard who is known for deflection women like a light beam hitting a mirror. This particular cactus isn’t prickly since he will never hit puberty. He also doesn’t grow past 4”11 and has toes like oogey boogey from nightmare before Christmas
Stinky stinky sniping cactus he is eww gross
by Therealsigmaalfa October 26, 2023
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Humble Cactus

Humble Cactus is a phrase used to refer to someone being a bitch. It is used in Minecraft because of the Microsoft chat reporting system. Another variation of this is Recap.
Hey (insert Minecraft Gamertag) stop being a Humble Cactus!
by Bamblue_1043 August 08, 2022
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Screaming Cactus

Someone who is adamant about giving their opinions and honesty. At the same time they refuse to take criticism and default to a defensive mentality when they’re challenged or given advice. Walking hypocrisy.
Example 1:
Partner 1: You need to stop texting at the dinner table, it’s very rude.
Partner 2: You literally have an ipad out and you’re watching the Bachelor.
Parter 1: I DIDN’T GET TO WATCH THE EPISODE LAST NIGHT!
Partner 2: You’re bein a real screaming cactus right now

Example 2:

Partner 1: I don’t appreciate you leaving last night and not coming home, that hurt my feelings
Partner 2: I left because I found out you were cheating on me.
Parter 1: IT’S NOT MY FAULT, YOU WEREN'T GIVING ME ENOUGH ATTENTION!
Partner: You are acting like a screaming cactus
by SpeakEENG May 03, 2021
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Diamond-studded cactus

An item that is painful to start with, became even more painful.
Normally thrown into a sentence as a threat.
Guy: Hey babe, how about you and I--
Girl: Touch me or even finish that sentence and I will fuck you with a Diamond-studded cactus.
by Firebirdchick March 06, 2015
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swollen cactus

When a man finds a decently sized beehive with the intent to penetrate it in a sexual manner with his penis until his shaft is swollen and covered in bee stingers.

Afterwards, the man has sexual intercourse with a female, Thrusting his prickly swollen penis through the woman's vagina giving her the Swollen Cactus.
My girlfriend is coming over tonight for some honey and a Swollen Cactus
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