Shweat Wipe

The act of wiping ones inexplicably shitty arse without having actually passed a stool.
"Man, you would not have believed that was just a shweat wipe, I saw sweetcorn!"
by The Last Lizard King March 28, 2016
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jabba-wipe

A woman who is addicted to having sex with obese men.
Steve, the only girl in this room who’d fuck your fat-ass would be a jabba-wipe like Ashley.
by Skankaflank May 13, 2022
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botched wipe

The point when ones finger penetrates the paper barrier between it and the anus causing feces to get under the nail. Verify by sniffing the suspect finger.
After smelling my finger I determined I had a botched wipe
by Ivan Denisovich December 31, 2013
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Victory Wipe

A mid day wipe of the crack to keep things tidy. No poo or sitting required although who doesn't love a good sit?
Where did Scott go? He said he was hitting the john for a Victory Wipe. Dude is always staying fresh.
by Ol'D1rtyB@$T@rd December 12, 2018
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Military wipe

When a person of service goes #2 and only uses one sheet of paper to wipe by wrapping the single piece of paper around their index finger and inserts the finger into their anus and wiping with a circular movement.
I only had one piece of TP left So i had to " military wipe"!
by NoGameOBMC October 20, 2016
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insurance wipe

The action of wiping after a clean poop thus insuring yourself of a clean balloon knot.
Sam: "Man i just wasted four squares of toilet paper!"
Devin: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "There was no poop on the toilet paper after I wiped."
Devin: "Well, then consider it an insurance wipe, you can never be too safe!"
by Bill Lowbiter February 24, 2014
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dick wipe

A brand of dispossible towels designed to be used to wipe your penis after a messy ejaculation when your lover is not allowing to suck excess semen from your face, and no blinds/bedclothes/curtians are at hand to fill this roll. Constructed from 100% cotton for that nice soft delicate penis wiping experience, and comes in a large range of aromatic and pleasing-to-the-nose smells...
''Aww shit, It's everywhere, Man I wish id bought a DICK WIPE
by James Foxhall February 28, 2005
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