Examples of quotes from Quagmire:
Quagmire: How old are you?
Girl: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first. Giggedy-giggedy-giggedy!
Peter: I felt guilty about not giving Lois an anniversary present.
Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up at 11:30.
Cleveland: That reminds me of an episode of Cheers.
Quagmire: I don't remember it. Tuesdays in the 80s I was always in bed by 8, and home by 11. Oh, yeah!
Quagmire: How old are you?
Girl: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first. Giggedy-giggedy-giggedy!
Peter: I felt guilty about not giving Lois an anniversary present.
Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up at 11:30.
Cleveland: That reminds me of an episode of Cheers.
Quagmire: I don't remember it. Tuesdays in the 80s I was always in bed by 8, and home by 11. Oh, yeah!
by GuidoPosse69 January 10, 2005
lines used by gigolos to seduce females made famous by family guys character glen quagmire.(i.e i lost my phone number can i have yours. nice pants can i test the zipper.)
by doogie snipes April 23, 2008
by dj_gs68 November 29, 2003
Glen Quagmire of Family Guy. A sex-crazed neighbor of Peter Griffen (as well as the others). Everything he says is absolutely hilarious; trust me. ^_~
"Heh. Alriiiiiight."
-Quagmire
-Quagmire
by Dave October 12, 2004
A really, really ugly adolescent usually around the age of 14-18. This male is so ugly that when he smiles everyone turns around to throw up in their mouth. ugly
by LaKiki101 March 08, 2010
by Family Jew February 25, 2018
Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.
Brain: Ugh, I can't beileve you're serving a three year sentance, it seems so harsh.
Lois: Well, the only upside is that it's given me time to think about why I ended up in here. I guess I was stealin' because I was so sick of the same old routine. I felt like I had a void in my life, like, like, there was a secret hole in me...
Quagmire: Oh God!
Lois:...and I was tryin' to fill that hole with all kinds of expensive objects, and things...
Quagmire: Oh God!!!
Lois: ...and I felt wonderful with all those things fillin' that hole.
Quagmire: Oh God!!!!!!
Lois: I did this to myself, so I'm just gonna have to lay back and let the penal system teach me a lesson.
Quagmire: That one is also sexual.
Quagmire: My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gagoogidy that girl. I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus. And I am sorry.
Quagmire: Hello, and welcome to another edition of Midnight Q. Tonight we're gonna enjoy some jazz from Charles Mingus. Norman Maylor's here to read an excerpt from his latest work. And we also have a girl from Omaha hiding a banana. We're gonna find out where. Giggity giggity. Giggity goo. Stick around.
Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!
Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through. Giggtty
(In the middle of the night, Peter wakes the whole neighborhood by yelling.)
Peter: Hey everybody! Meg just had her first period!
Joe: PETER! Shut up its three in the morning!
Cleveland: What the hell is going on out there?!
Quagmire: Damn it! People are trying to sleep!
Peter: I'm just saying! I'm proud of her. She's a woman! Yea!
Quagmire: Yes, Peter, that's very hot, and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now, I am exhausted!
Quagmire: Hey Peter, uhh you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody.
Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D."
Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it.
Quagmire: You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire.
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.
Brain: Ugh, I can't beileve you're serving a three year sentance, it seems so harsh.
Lois: Well, the only upside is that it's given me time to think about why I ended up in here. I guess I was stealin' because I was so sick of the same old routine. I felt like I had a void in my life, like, like, there was a secret hole in me...
Quagmire: Oh God!
Lois:...and I was tryin' to fill that hole with all kinds of expensive objects, and things...
Quagmire: Oh God!!!
Lois: ...and I felt wonderful with all those things fillin' that hole.
Quagmire: Oh God!!!!!!
Lois: I did this to myself, so I'm just gonna have to lay back and let the penal system teach me a lesson.
Quagmire: That one is also sexual.
Quagmire: My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gagoogidy that girl. I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus. And I am sorry.
Quagmire: Hello, and welcome to another edition of Midnight Q. Tonight we're gonna enjoy some jazz from Charles Mingus. Norman Maylor's here to read an excerpt from his latest work. And we also have a girl from Omaha hiding a banana. We're gonna find out where. Giggity giggity. Giggity goo. Stick around.
Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!
Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up halfway through. Giggtty
(In the middle of the night, Peter wakes the whole neighborhood by yelling.)
Peter: Hey everybody! Meg just had her first period!
Joe: PETER! Shut up its three in the morning!
Cleveland: What the hell is going on out there?!
Quagmire: Damn it! People are trying to sleep!
Peter: I'm just saying! I'm proud of her. She's a woman! Yea!
Quagmire: Yes, Peter, that's very hot, and I'll deal with it in the morning, but right now, I am exhausted!
Quagmire: Hey Peter, uhh you have a card for if you transfered V.D. to somebody.
Peter: Uhh lets see here...uhh yep, "Sorry I accidentally gave you V.D."
Quagmire: Huh, that's all you have is accidental huh? All right I'll take it.
Quagmire: You must be this beautiful to ride the Quagmire.
by Seth Mcfarlane August 14, 2009