mortgage underwriter

A person who evaluates and mitigates risk for financial institutions. Underwriters are often under appreciated, underpaid punching bags for loan officers, processors. Often times they also become scape goats for upper management. Underwriters are also considered the most hated and vile beings within the lending world.

After asking for further documentation, the loan officer proceeded to the office of the mortgage underwriter and beat her with the stack of documents she requested and then urinated on her.

by Ldysc January 25, 2018

mortgage eyes

Someone who is boss-eyed. One eye goes one-way and the other eye goes a different way. One eye is fixed, one is variable - hence, mortgage eyes.

Look at that cunt with the mortgage eyes...

by WaveyDavey258 April 1, 2021

rigor mortgage

The feeling that sets in when you realize the value of your house is approaching zero.

How do you feel about the halted construction in your neighborhood?
I'm stiff with rigor mortgage.

by Robopoet February 22, 2008

Morganese

when you're too high and drunk to talk properly and slur all vowels.

I couldn't understand a word, she was speaking Morganese.

her:"Wheeeeeen IIIIII waaaas leeeeeaving IIIII fell."

by Detroit Sarah July 12, 2010

Morganese

A form of communication used by boss ass bitches who have already earned their dough for the day and are now so stoned and drunk that their words bleed into each other.

You: Hey, how was work today?

Morgan (speaking Morganese): I godd mine shuffle fo' dem hightep just staded in um back

by Fitty Fishy July 5, 2022

Mortgage

A slang expression based on the length of time of financing for the average home loan, generally 15 to 30 years, used to denote a specific period of time generally associated with a lengthy jail or prison sentence.

I heard Kenneth went to court last week thinking he was going to get off with a light sentence or even probation. With all the stuff he was into and all the trouble he's caused, I wasn't a bit surprised to hear the judge mortgaged his ass to the state penitentiary.

by Who 'Dis? Who 'Dat? December 3, 2021

Morganecdote

A meandering monologue to a small audience, occasionally punctuated by reference to flange.

I was sat there waiting for the punchline, but then I realised it was just another morganecdote.

by MartinS May 1, 2006