masterbating date-imitater

The guy who imagines a whole date with a girl using his hand as the girl. He'll cook diner and then just makeout with his hand too scared to make a move, c,mon you know they exist....

.....also, he may put clothes on it, even name it

Doug: "Hey Rocco, remember Norb?"

Rocco: "Ya, man, he used to try and get me to talk to Julie, ...I mean his hand, ...really freaked me out man.

Doug: "Dude I know, he was a classic case of a masterbating date-imitater."

by deliverer of babys January 16, 2011

Crying while masterbating

The depressive state where your hunger for vagina overshadows your temporary sadness. This state often results in the victim masterbating over violent porn, using his own tears as lubricant as desperate howls of anguish escape his lips.

B.A. was crying while masterbating after someone paid out his altezza tail lights the other night.

by Anal ejaculator January 12, 2012

masterdating

When someone goes out with a group of friends and puts up his pictures on his facebook page - then stares at them all week long

Hey did you hear John is dating?
No
He's been masterdating his facebook page for six months now

by boots'n'puss share this February 27, 2011

Masterhating

Thoroughly enjoy criticizing something, also deliberately seeking things to critize.

"Have you watched Epic Movie lately?"
"That's such a bad movie! It's great for Masterhating though."

by JaredZ June 8, 2007

masterlating

To be the only person to show up late to a group meeting or event.

I've been masterlating to the last six events, the boss won't be happy if I am tardy again. late, tardy, not on time, procrastinate, behind

by joecoolthefool August 19, 2015

masterhating

hating ones self for missing the opportunity to score

Person1 : AAh! i hate myself for not getting with that chick.

Person2 : dude...stop masterhating

by bob_da_builda October 18, 2010

Masterbating window licker

A person that follows you , annoys you, and always seems to be standing behind you . He or she tries to do eveyones job but their own with an intelligence level of a fucktard

Did you just see that masterbating window licker

by Whoswho 1 June 4, 2018