MASTERbater

n. title given to he who can masturbate and feel no shame, whose penis' texture is like leather, predict his exact point of ejaculation, can get it under 30 seconds, does not break a sweat, and will occaisionally yawn while doing it

Jody thought Jacob was the true MASTERbater when she caught him masturbating and pressing a pair of slacks while talking on the phone selling timeshares in Florida.

by Jupiter Armstrong April 17, 2004

Masterbation Proclamation

When a guy who always denied ever jacking off first proclaims to their friends that they indeed do masterbate. Usually admitted after days, months and years of questioning and teasing.

Krieg- "You missed it last night. Brett finally caved."

Chase- "How's that?"

Krieg- "Masterbation Proclamation"

Chase- "I always knew he was a jackoff"

by woundtight September 25, 2011

masterbacon

The act of masturbating during or after the consumption of delicious bacon (the candy bar of meats)

I can't believe Johnny got kicked out of Bob Evans for masterbacon at the table

by smell my fingers October 12, 2011

masterbation realization

Just after you nut where you go
"Wow this girl I just jacked off to is real nasty." Or where you loose complete sexual interest after you bust.

You- Fuck me this chick is sucking that dick so good.

You post nut- Man wtf this chick is nasty and the concept of porn is fucked up, I mean I'm getting off to someone getting off wtf man I just had a
"Masterbation Realization".

by Brewski Jones June 5, 2017

masterbaiter

Someone who is exceptional at baiting a fishing pole for optimum fishing pleasure. This person knows which bait to use, for the right type of fish in the area and in general is simply a master of the art of choosing the right bait.

Novice baiter; ''hey there, what type of bait should i use in this lake if i'm after bass?''

''masterbaiter- you should definately use crickets caught in the local area, bass love live bait and they're used to the local stuff''

novice baiter; ''thanks you're a real masterbaiter.''

whatever; suck my clit, you can't even spell

by Cathi Robertson August 4, 2008

masterbassing

The act of self pleasure while listening to dubstep or any other bass heavy music.

Toby: Did you see Danny at that Excision concert last night?
Luke: Yeah man, he was totally masterbassing all over the place.
Toby: And when that bass dropped?
Luke: Yeah...I'm pretty sure Danny had to change his pants afterward.

by whitepeoplelikedubsteptoo! February 20, 2011

Mental Masterbation

Pondering philosophical questions, which may be enjoyable, yet are so removed from reality, or experience that they have no practical use.

Someone that thinks of far out 'what if' questions

Note- Not all philosophy is mental masterbation.

"Today we spent three hours mentally masterbating to Kant's critique of pure reason"

"I got a degree in mental masterbation!" someone graduating with a degree in rhetoric, philosophy, anthropolgy, multicultural studies, etc

by Marcus L January 1, 2008