Illinois Walrus Bang 

The act of shoving two (preferably large) penises in each nostril of a person, usually performed during a threesome.

Optional: The one getting molested can also have a harpoon shoved in the anus during intercourse to make the experience more exhilarating. The one being fucked is also encouraged to bark like a walrus as well.

"Remember that somebody out there prefers the Illinois Walrus Bang over the Illinois Backyard Roast"

Illinois Walrus Bang by TheRealFuhrer October 14, 2014

Illinois enema bandit 

Subject of frank Zappa song and later a movie who tied up female victims , robbed them, and gave them an enema before leaving.

She wanted Michael to fuck her but he went Illinois enema bandit on her ,tied her up and reamed her out with hot soapy water causing projectile diarhea.

Illinois enema bandit by NWA10000 January 18, 2015

Illinois Boner Joint 

Illinois boner joint:
An Illinois boner joint Is when a homeless man offers you a joint offered at the waist for a puff of the reef, where the joint is actually his homeless wang wrapped in rolling paper for sexual gratification.

When I was in Chicago late at night walking around with my friend, a homeless man appeared from the shadows and offered us a hit from his joint. I knew immediately he was a sick bastard trying to get us to suck his wang, thinking it was a meaty joint, my friend bent down to puff I yelled "NOO!! Stop! That's an Illinois boner joint!" As I dove and pushed my friend away from the homeless mans pelvis and erect reefer wrap.

Illinois Boner Joint by LtPork April 22, 2015

Morris Illinois

A place that celebrates corn. Corn festival occurs at the end of every September. The carnival comes, and people try to ride the bumper cars after they have closed.

Dude! Are you going to Corn fest tonight? What else would I be doing in Morris Illinois! Checking out jamal??

Morris Illinois by ayG-bo November 25, 2007

Illinois Hot-Pocket 

Boning a female, and then pulling out, and nutting in the females nostril/nostrils and squezing the jizzum out of her nose like the cheese in a hot-pocket.

Sally just loved the Illinois Hot-Pocket and gave to her last night, she thought it was rad.

Illinois Hot-Pocket by RabidWimp December 16, 2008

Illinois

A state which has a lot of socio-economic inequality. If you live in the Northern Chicago Suburbs, congrats. You're probably a multi-millionaire living in a mansion. If you don't, you probably live in a shack in Chicago, not the nice Chicago. Lucky, your kids will go to Chicago Public Schools and never get nowhere in life. While, all the pharma execs' kids pay their ways into MIT. Don't worry, the governor legalized weed. At least all the conservatives have been chased away.

Illinois has high taxes, but can't seem to get shit done.

Illinois by Wigism June 11, 2020

Darien, Illinois

A city in Illinois, in the subarbs of Chicago. The slogan of this town is, "A nice place to live". The slogan lies. There is absolutely nothing to do here, but there is a Taco Bell, a Dairy Queen, and DCP (Darien Community Park). Also, because this is such a boring town, a good portion of the teenagers here do drugs because they having nothing better to do with their time. So there's something. Chances are, if you are a teenager and you live in Darien, you go to Hinsdale South High School. South is a pretty good school, and was ranked 10th in the state. Hinsdale South also has two Astroturf fields, but no air conditioning. We suck at most of our sports, but we're pretty alright at Danceline and girl's badmintion. The weather here fucking sucks as well. Our winters are cold as shit, and the spring is apparently as well. The weather for this summer has been cool and rainy, makes sense. Clearly, this town sucks and i will move far away from here when I get older for sure. But hey, there's a ton of drugs.

Bob: So what's there to do here in darien, illinois?
Joe: Absolutely nothing.

Darien, Illinois by xhamsaucex June 29, 2011