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I have read and agree to the terms of use

Pretty much the biggest lie on the planet. People usually see this message when trying to sign up for something or the other. People are supposed to actually read through the terms of use, but no one does. Useless waste of paper or pixels.
People who say they have never lied in their lives are probably lying right there. I guarantee that none of them have ever checked the "I have read and agree to the terms of use" box after actually reading the terms of use.
by sexytroll696969696969 June 23, 2011
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I Have Black Friends

The greatest excuse that racists use to try to make it look like they're not racist.

Apparently having black friends negates any racist thing you say.
Person 1: Yeah, niggers are always stealing things and killing each other. Fuck those niggers!

Person 2: Dude...what's wrong with you?

Person 1: It's okay, I have black friends. I can say this.

Person 2: I don't think it works that way.
by Bloodbath 87 March 8, 2009
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I have more than enough to eat at home

A typical denial when caught munching the muff on the other side of the fence
Reporter: "Did you offer to perform cunnilingus on a female staffer?"
Rob Ford: “I’m happily married, I have more than enough to eat at home"
by asupercilious January 22, 2014
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I have no pants on

A most highly effective statement one can use to quickly end an episode of unwanted texting with a platonic friend.
It seemed she was unable to stop what had become endless workplace texting and so I texted, “I have no pants on,” which brought it to a screeching halt for the rest of the afternoon.
by Dr Bunnygirl June 14, 2021
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who'd'ven't'f'i'dn't've'nt'f'i'd'ven't'f'ihavn'tn't'd'i've

A lengthy contraction. Use it your own way, who knows what it actually means. It’s too rusty to translate. The word can be found on Reddit, Tumblr, and probably more, most likely originating on social media.
Mike: who'd'ven't'f'I'dn't've'nt'f'I'd'ven't'f'Ihavn'tn't'd'I've-
John: Mike, shut up, we’re in an interview
by SomebodyNamedFjord April 3, 2020
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I have issues

Guy A: "Man, I keep filming my little sister while she's sleeping... I have issues."
Guy B: No shit.
by Psycho_Panda May 24, 2008
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do I have to put something here?

A phrase used by some UrbanDicionary.com contributors who have too much sense to supply any overtly identifying information.
The answer to this phrase is, yes. UrbanDictionary won't let us leave the name empty any more. So go ahead and put "do I have to put something here?"
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