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Crappy Housewife

What Tonje Langeteig does not want to be.
Tonje Langeteig: I woke up one morning and thought I was young, but no no no no my youth was gone. I don't wanna be a crappy housewife.
Person: This makes "Friday" sound good!
by datgurrrllll November 29, 2011
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Feminist Housewife

A person who submits to traditional 1950s roles while also maintaining a sense of new age woman's liberation.
Lucy stepped into the role of a Feminist Housewife when she made banal lettuce sandwiches for her husband and son in the dinning room while her and her daughter ate homemade mac and cheese in the kitchen.
by SquareTableKnight November 28, 2021
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housewife hooker

A homemaker who rents herself out part time to make extra cash, usually behind her husband's back.
Cheryl keeps the palace clean in the day, and fucks anything that moves by night. That's one fine housewife hooker.
by blix99 May 13, 2005
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Desperate Housewives

Possibly one of the best shows on television. Ever.
The show follows four housewives living on the seemingly perfect Wisteria Lane. The women all deal with dramatic issues; such as suicide, affairs, and troublesome teens. Susan Mayer is a hopeless romantic trying to find a man (currently her plumber). Bree Van De Kamp is "Martha Stewart on steroids", who recently witnessed her boyfriend's suicide. He was also the same man who killed her husband, Rex. Then, there is the ever popular and sexy Gabrielle Solis, played by Eva Longoria. Her character has an elicit affair with a teenage garden, the becomes pregnant -> miscarriage. Last but not least is Lynette Scavo, a working mother of four. All her character does is deal with parenting and marriage issues..
"Did you see Desperate Housewives last night?!"
"Hell yes, I wouldn't miss it for the world."
by I<3DH September 10, 2008
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Housewife's Napkin

A small cloth or beverage napkin kept in the nightstand of an under sexed housewife. The Housewife's Napkin is used to wipe up semen after sexual activity. The Housewife's Napkin generally lasts for many months before needing to be laundered or disposed due to extremely infrequent sexual activity.
Mary Anne was a sex starved housewife. Her husband's lack of sexual performance and constant flaccid state rendered her Housewife's Napkin in clean and folded condition in her nightstand and rarely seeing any use.
by Eaton Holgoode April 17, 2014
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housewife spliffin

A phrase refering to lesbian sex
My girlfriend and I just did a little housewife spliffin
by Unicirn queen November 15, 2017
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horsebite

To grab a fleshy part on another's body, particularly on the underside of the upper arm, squeeze tightly, and then pull your fingers loose without loosening one's grip. Creates a bruise identical in appearance to the one produced by the bite of a horse.
Mr. Jones sent Bill to the office for giving other kids horsebites, noting that such severe bruising could cause blood clots.
by Rod Brock August 1, 2006
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