futon crouton

Any small to fairly sized object that falls between the cushions of a couch, commonly rediscovered after as much as a year of confinement in said furniture. Notable types include Goldfish, Cheez-Its, and popcorn, though more essential living room items, such as TV remotes, have been found, as well.

I found a Hershey's Kiss futon crouton the other day in my Ikea couch. Gave it a sniff to make sure there was no stank and I popped that motherfucker in my mouth.

by Dang Lin Wang LXIX November 11, 2016

ignorant crouton

lacking knowledge or information as to a small piece of fried or toasted bread, sometimes seasoned, used as a garnish for soups, salads, and other dishes.a particular subject or fact

Excuse me sir, but i can't help but notice how much of an ignorant crouton you are.

by Wolfie SiriusBlack February 13, 2015

Soggy Crouton

The act of soaking your balls in salad dressing before forcefully inserting them into your girl's ass while screaming at the top of your lungs "WELCOME TO THE HIDDEN VALLEY!"

I hope my girl gets here soon because I've been basting my balls in this dressing all day and I can't wait to give her the soggy crouton

by FittyTucker July 12, 2016

crouton

The drummer of the band Family Force 5

Man, Crouton's one awesome drummer.

by MooMonster June 28, 2007

Crouton Savage

A person who insidiously steals your croutons from your ever so delicious Caesar salad. Along with croutons, they also tend to steal those awesome tasty chunks of parmasean. These beings will go to extreme measures just to take your croutons, usually they will stab you with their fork in the process, but the barbaric extremities vary based on who the savage is.

Jimmy: Dude hide your salad right now!
Paul: What why?
Jimmy: Because Kimmy's coming over here!
Paul: I don't--
Jimmy: Hurry up and do it Paul!
Paul: (hides salad) Why?
Jimmy: she's crouton savage. (Lifts sleeve to show scars). That's why.
Paul: is that from a fork?

by CouldntDecide December 18, 2014

ASS CROUTON

the clinging of fecal residue and toilet paper fragments to one's anal hairs; a disgustingly deplorable condition that unequivocally creates a lack of hygiene in this unpleasantly moist and stinky cavity. More commonly referred to as "dingleberries," or fartleberries."

With the amount of ass croutons that I was packing, you could have tossed quite a salad down there! Only problem was, I wished my girlfriend would have used Ranch dressing instead of Italian!

by weave August 22, 2003

Crotonitis

Definition: Crotonitis is a degenerative mental condition common among males, and is especially prevalent around high school age. While it is not “life threatening”, it is considered by many experts on the subject to be a “life wasting” disease because while it doesn’t shorten lifespan, it may significantly reduce the quality of life lived. Common symptoms include laziness, atrophy of muscles, and frequent desire to talk about how tough you are, without being able to back it up.

Cause: No one single source can be pin pointed as the cause of crotonitis. However, it is believed that some major causes include the “everyone is a winner” attitude, first popularized by the hit television series Barney & Friends in 1992, and the ability of youths to talk trash to each other over Xbox Live while knowing that they will never have to actually confront the individual they are talking trash to in person.

Cure: There is no cure to crotonitis that can be purchased over the counter or prescribed by a doctor. The only known effective treatments involve hours of rigorous training each week over the course of several months or even years, to the point where significant amounts of sweat and/or blood may be lost.

Person 1: I'll kick your ass
Person 2: Bring it on
Person 1: I meant on COD: Black Ops
Person 2: Crotonitis

by Nigel Thornberry IV December 11, 2010