A Navy buddy of mine, Don Armstrong (RIP buddy) had terrible hemorrhoids-- they would bleed and make perfect doll-sized kiss marks inside his underwear.
Don's Wife: "Don! You sick fuck! Did you pay a midget to wear lipstick and kiss your goddamn underwear?"
Don: "No honey... those are from my hemorrhoids."
Don's Wife: "... you mean this is actually... blood?"
Don: "It's best to think of them as Underwear Kisses."
Don: "No honey... those are from my hemorrhoids."
Don's Wife: "... you mean this is actually... blood?"
Don: "It's best to think of them as Underwear Kisses."
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker August 3, 2018
Get the Underwear Kisses mug.by Underwatet123 December 10, 2022
Get the underwatet mug.The massive skid mark left behind after eating, digesting, and farting out Taco Bell. These usually can NOT be washed away.
I am not gonna eat at Taco Bell for awhile, I destroyed my skivies with a 7-layer underwear wrecker. It will never come out.
by Mutchler January 20, 2006
Get the 7-layer underwear wrecker mug.Basically a fancy name for "dishwasher". My ex felt inferior to some of his friends who had cool-sounding jobs, so I made this one up to make him laugh and feel better :)
JOE: Hey Bob, what are you doing with yourself these days?
BOB: Oh, hey Joe. I'm the assistant to the vice president of sales. How about you?
JOE: I'm an underwater porcelain technician.
BOB: Oh, hey Joe. I'm the assistant to the vice president of sales. How about you?
JOE: I'm an underwater porcelain technician.
by Chrissy Robinson July 30, 2008
Get the underwater porcelain technician mug.A sexual maneuver in which a man ejaculates into a woman's vagina and farts either at the same time or immediately thereafter ejaculation, but before withdrawing.
by nayqueenie May 13, 2010
Get the Underwater Trumpet mug.n: an illegal underground sport in which players must weave an entire basket underwater on one breath. If more than one player should manage to finish, the one who has created the most intricate or cleanest basket is kept alive while other contestants are shot. Most players drown in their first match. Some variations occur in EUBW, such as mines, sharks, and harpoons.
Bill: Mrs. Johnson, I'm so sorry about your loss. But how did your son die?
Mrs. Johnson: He drowned in an Extreme Underwater Basket Weaving tournament.
Bill: God rest his soul.
Mrs. Johnson: He drowned in an Extreme Underwater Basket Weaving tournament.
Bill: God rest his soul.
by whOOpshT July 12, 2011
Get the Extreme Underwater Basket Weaving mug.by The Return of Light Joker December 2, 2010
Get the underwater basket weaving mug.