n. - A deadly disease that ravaged much of Europe and the western world in the Medieval Ages, and can still be found to this day. Tinfoil Plague (or the Tin Death, as it is sometimes called) was once thought to be spread by the bite of conspiracy theorists, but as we now know it is actually transmitted by the head lice they carry.
Symptoms of the Tin Death include large, silvery-metallic blisters that
break into open sores, uncontrollable babbling and shaking, vomiting, coughing, high fever, sudden devotion to conspiracy theories, and explosive
diarrhea. Symptoms generally begin within a few days of being bitten by one of the lice from a
conspiracy theorist's head. More robust victims can often withstand a few weeks before deteriorating into full-blown conspiracy theorists, but others succumb to the Tin Death much quicker.
Treatment of the Tinfoil Plague requires anticonspiriotics, usually Soutercilin. Even with Soutercilin, intense therapy is needed to bring a victim back into touch with
reality. Survivors of the Tin Death are still at high risk of developing malignant tinfoil tumors.
If you think you
may have symptoms of Tinfoil Plague, contact your
doctor immediately.
