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David Stern

David Stern is the horrendous commissioner of the NBA. He allows referees to blatantly change the outcome of certain NBA games, most commonly playoff games and ALWAYS calls them "mistakes". The worst case happened in 2002 when the Lakers won Game 6 of the Western Conference Finals against the Kings because the refs gave the Lakers many free throw opportunities in the 4th quarter. All of the calls were against the Kings, and were not even fouls. This threw away the chances of seeing a Nets v. Kings Finals series in 2002. If you don't believe this, Google "the worst tragedy in sports".

When you really need him, Stern is going to make constant horrible decisions. In the NBA draft, the commissioner calls out the names of every player that is going to be selected in the 1st round. When he got to the podium on 6/24/10, the fans in Madison Square Garden booed him. Some good commissioner, eh? Stern cares only about money and ruining NBA teams and breaking the hearts of millions of fans.
David Stern fan: the lakers kings game wasnt fixed man you just a stupid hater who cant appreciate that the nba is the greatest sport ever!!!
Me: ...I ain't even gonna reply, but I have to, since you're such an idiot...watch the game and you'll see that it was fixed.
Stern fan: i aint gotta watch nothin to believe anythin foo!
Me -_-
by JustinBiebersucks June 28, 2010
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David Stern

A weaselly, power mongering, dumb shit prick who somehow became the commissioner of the NBA.

Also regularly has gay orgies with small market owners like Dan Gilbert, a butt-hurt, small market owner whose gay lover left him.
"You know, the trade was blocked for basketball reasons, I don't think you should be mad."

"What the fuck does David Stern know about basketball?"
by David Stern Sucks December 27, 2011
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David Stern

1. The Worst NBA Commissioner of All-time

2. Outlived lived his stay and made December 8th 2011 one of the worst days for the NBA.

3. How he thinks of himself was brilliantly shown in SNL:

"You don't talk to me like that! I'm David Stern! I make the rules here! You don't get to pick your team, I do! I'm the commissioner of the NBA! I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS!!!!!"

4. Bill Simmons said regarding the recent veto of the CP3 trade:

"Just know that I'm a die-hard Celtics fan and die-hard Lakers hater … and even I am appalled. I hope Chris Paul sues. I hope the Rockets sue. I hope the Lakers sue. I hope Dell Demps resigns and makes a sex tape with a stripper wearing a David Stern Halloween mask."
NBA fan #1: Yesterday may have been the worst day in the history of the United States

NBA fan #2: Even worse than November 4th 2008

NBA fan #1: Hell ya, he vetoed CP3 trade David Stern fucked everyone in the NBA

NBA fan #2: Fuck him he hates America
by The NBA fan December 19, 2011
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turkey stern

the process of making a sandwhich behind someone elses back while you give them a blow job or you can be the person getting the blowjob (hhhooooowwlllllaaaeee)
My girlfriend sucked my dick today while making me a sandwhich behind my back with bread, turkey, lettuce and mayonaise. Damn she can give a good ass turkey stern.
by Yannie December 13, 2008
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David Stern

1. The Commissioner of the National Basketball Association

2. An out-of-touch fugazy who keeps playas from doin their thing; a playa hater.
1. David Stern finally relented to the pressure and went back to using the traditional genuine leather basketball after the new ball failed miserably.

2. My landlord keeps calling the law every time I have a house party. Fuck a David Stern.
by L-Millz October 17, 2007
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Ripped Stem to Stern

A colloquial expression refer in to pillaging anal sex that, while still pleasurable, is akin to feeling as if your rectum is being split open and in half from the base of the spine all the way to the sternum.
Although Drake's girthy man meat made her feel like she was being ripped stem to stern, Sandy begged for more.
by Eaton Holgoode November 15, 2015
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