Skip to main content

Darjeeling standpipe

A pleasurable sex act whereby a teapot is filled with hot, not boiling water, the scrotum suspended therein, and a consenting adult partner encouraged to blow through the spout while wanking one off. The effect is similar to a testicular jacuzzi.
Don't put the leaf in yet, sweetness. I fancy a Darjeeling standpipe.
by Lord Grimcock October 15, 2007
mugGet the Darjeeling standpipe mug.

fuck me sideways with a sandpaper condom

An insult that can be used as an alternative to "fuck me" or "fuck me sideways" and can avoid actions that look like fucking someone sideways. Also an insult that can be used against others because they are simply an ass or they are stupid, and as such, deserve really painful sex.
-Why the hell did you yell your ex's name when you had sex with your girl?
-Fuck me sideways with a sandpaper condom.

-Dude, where the hell are you?
-I'm stuck behind this old fart.
-Go fuck him sideways with a sandpaper condom, it's your damn fault you woke up late.
by gofuckaduck90 June 15, 2011
mugGet the fuck me sideways with a sandpaper condom mug.

sandpaper vag

A women's affliction; the result of an extremely dry vagina. Often caused by wearing a tampon that is too absorbent for the menstrual flow, so that the vagina's natural lubricants are also absorbed. It causes the vaginal walls to feel rough like sandpaper, and makes removing the tampon very uncomfortable.
Girl 1: I just took out my tampon before it was ready and now I have a serious case of sandpaper vag.

Girl 2: I hate that.
by marigold_11 October 18, 2010
mugGet the sandpaper vag mug.

Mexican Sandpaper

The act of putting Vasaline all over your cock then dipping it in sand. Then you put your cock in the ass and analy pound her until she bleeds.
Me and Nick were in Tiajuana and he picked up a dirty whore and gave her some Mexican Sandpaper and she loved it.
by Noahkinseth February 3, 2009
mugGet the Mexican Sandpaper mug.

smooth as sandpaper

A way to criticize someone for failing to do something easy because it is obviously rough for them.
Reggie: Watch me tie my shoes! Oh no! I forgot the bunny ears part!
Art: Wow! You are as smooth as sandpaper, Reggie! Now let's get back to 11th grade math.
by von groovy August 8, 2017
mugGet the smooth as sandpaper mug.

sandpaper sally

a woman who has an incredibly bad herpes outbreak, to the point that that her vagina feels like sandpaper
"Last night I scored, but she was a sandpaper sally!"
by jbirdington May 28, 2008
mugGet the sandpaper sally mug.

sandpaper mittens

the hands of a woman who is so bad at masturbating her man, that it feels like shes wearing sandpaper mittens
my jimmy is so raw this morning. I think that cow had sandpaper mittens
by sonic68 February 6, 2009
mugGet the sandpaper mittens mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email