cum mortar

When you girl is riding you , and you are about to cum. She gets off your dick and jacks you and holds your dick at the right angle to make you shoot your load on you face ..

When she was done riding my dick, she cum mortared my face with my hot load.

by Hotttddoogg October 12, 2023

mortar strike

multiple shits

dude i just shot a mortar strike into your toilet

by myguymclovin December 17, 2018

mexican mortar

N. Feces.

I was outside with the dog and stepped in a big pile of mexican mortar

by Dave Burgundy January 13, 2009

Missoula Mortar and Pestle

A marriage of the pittsburgh steamshovel and a skullfuck. Taking a shit in the empty eyesocket of a one-eyed hooker, then squishing your cock into it. Extra points awarded for the famed "Eye to Mouth" move afterwards.

Stump: I got rolled by a one-eyed hooker last night

Nick: How?

Stump: I just finished giving her the Missoula Mortar and Pestle, then she slapped me with a crowbar and took my wallet

by MaximillianBadberg October 6, 2011

Mexican Mortar Strike

Filling a sock with fresh crap that you just took and launching it into the air at an unsuspecting group of people. Must be launched in the air at a decent height. Works best after a night of heavy drinking and eating spicy food.

The people next door were being too loud at night, so Monty decided to launch a Mexican Mortar Strike on them.

by Jameson Vandersnatch September 6, 2011

Bricks-and-mortar friend

A real, tangible friend, that you hang with and go out for beers with, as opposed to a virtual online friend like that person you never talked to in high school that you now comment back and forth on social networks like Facebook.

I'm sick of sitting on Facebook for 4 hours a night and commenting on peoples' semi-witty status updates. I need to get some more bricks-and-mortar friends and get out of the house.

by CO_jcd July 15, 2011

Iraqi mortar fire

When you tighten your girlfriends anus to a centimeter in diameter and make her take a bunch of laxatives. She then waits in the doggy position until the urge to shit arrives. Upon shitting, the poo will spray out and drop on the room like mortar fire, permanently damaging your carpet and her dignity.

Dude, I totally just made my girlfriend do the Iraqi mortar fire last night. We had to call in hazmat 10 minutes later.

by ducklicker456 February 26, 2021