masturpacing

The act of pacing the room while masturbating, often characterized by bumping into furniture the closer you get to climax. Usually done late at night by insomniacs and results in a high amount of random bruising.

"Every night at like 3am we can hear his floorboards squeaking as he walks around. He must be masturpacing."

by MsMufffin November 12, 2011

Masturwaiting

Laying in bed, chubbed up, waiting for your roommate to go to sleep so you can pleasure yourself

"I had a Louisville Slugger-sized hardon last night and needed to crank one out, but my roomie was awake, watching some dumbass videos. I was up masturwaiting until 1:30am!"

by DavieYo March 1, 2015

caught masturbating

The act of being discovered while you are masturbating. This usually leads to pure humiliation, especially if the discoverer is a celebrity.

"Chase Rodrigue masturbated in his mom's truck when she went out to buy some groceries. However, our local weatherman caught him masturbating."

by Rob. February 2, 2003

poop while masturbating

A spuce is masturbation while taking a shit.

Man, you ever poop while masturbating? Got water splashed on my balls, totally ruined my spuce.

by TomatoKid November 17, 2013

mansturating

Verb. To mansturate is when a male gets over emotional or upset for no apparant reason. Plays on the female mensturation cycle.

Man 1: whys John getting so angry? It was just a joke.

Man 2: Don't worry, he's just mansturating.

by thomas wyles February 1, 2010

masturbating

What you were probably doing a few moments ago.

Joe: Whatcha doing?
Jimmy: Masturbating.
Joe: Cool, me too.

by Chuck Norris' son February 7, 2009

Masturbating Monkey

When a monkey in the forest or at the zoo get's a erection and grabs his penis and starts to jack off like a car piston and starts shooting sperm all over the place, then he goes "HOOO OHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HOO HO HOO!!!!" when the male monkey starts to think oh the female monkeys. and sperm starts to land on you and you child.

Child: mommy, WTF IS THAT BLACK MONKEY DOING?!?
Mom: Don't be racist!!! He's just a masturbating monkey

Doctor: hey Steve, that monkey seems to be masturbating?
Steve: I think he is, we should test his heart rate to make sure it's safe for the masturbating monkey.
Steve: ok... WHAT?! IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!

by theaveragejoe33 October 27, 2010