Masturbating

Something you do when you need a quick fix because the real thing isn't available.

Jerry: Hey what are you up to?
Frank: I'm masturbating.
Jerry: Ok hit me up when your done.

Masturbating by Jiggywithit455 June 12, 2022

Masturbating

Touching your COCK after watching porn

Im masturbating to your mum on pornhub

Masturbating by Wankingking March 5, 2023

masturbating

when you beat the absolute living shit outta your meat package, that a liquid located inside of your ballsack called "semen", "cum", or "jizz" will rapidly start squirting and shooting out of your penis hole at 1000 miles an hour.

but if unleashing the hot sticky jizz from your fat, thick, juicy, and erect cock into the pussy/vagina of your female partner, it will result in the female becoming pregnant and having children.

also could be considered something that you do on a daily basis since you have no girlfriend to stick your cock inside of.

(masturbating)
guy: OMAGASH im boutta unleash my sticky hot jizz all over my bathroom walls from the excessive masturbation that i have currently done

(couple)
guy: im boutta jizz all over your face, bitch!
girl: oh yes daddy uwu

masturbating by Hypurrelet August 14, 2023

Masturbating

What you’re doing right now.

People masturbating make up most of Urban Dictionary’s traffic. In fact, probably the entire internet’s traffic in general.

Masturbating by Your pseudonym :3 September 20, 2023

masturbating

The act of sexually pleasuring yourself.

Robert loved masturbating. Every day after school, he would go in his room, lock the door, and go on Jerkmate. He would pull down his pants and underpants and click on the perfect stream. When he saw the girl rub the dildo on her massive tits, he started masturbating his dick. Then when she got to shoving the dildo up her asshole, Robert would start masturbating even faster. At this point, his dick was covered in precum. Now, the girl was shoving the dildo up her pussy. Robert was masturbating even harder, his hands getting tired, but he still perservered. He felt the cum getting to the head. Finally, Robert let a big moan as he cummed all over under the desk. Robert felt like he could jizz one more time, so he continued beating his meat as he clicked on another live stream. Robert, being the gooner that he is, ejactulated again, this time not white, but a pinkish-red color. He was horrified. He then died after peeing all of his blood out.

masturbating by MyCockIsBigAndBlack October 5, 2025

masturbating

stimulating yourself sexually. usually to porn or something. it's a perfectly normal thing to do, don't be ashamed. just don't get addicted to it and you'll be fine

man i was masturbating like a fucking ape to this hardcore porn

masturbating by semibreve May 31, 2026

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.

i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018