Macturbater

One who buys and promotes the use of Apple products on the grounds that they are "the best computers in the world" but is largely ignorant about computer tech and other industry facts.

A full-fledged macturbater owns and operates the latest and greatest Apple products. They may brag about their "16GB of RAM and Retina Display" when they typically only use those features to watch porn and/or Instagram pictures of their cats with the hashtag #iphoneonly.

Stefan purchased the latest Macbook Pro and won't shut up about how great 16GB of RAM is. He uses it to photoshop photos and maybe occasionally develop CSS. I can do all that with my 5 year old Dell running Windows XP. He's such a Macturbater.

by legittalon July 1, 2012

chronic masturbator

A man who simply has a thing against carrying a loaded weapon around all the time.

Mother: *knocks on door* Billy, what are you doing in there?
Billy: uhhh... NOTHING.
Mother: Dammit Billy, you're a chronic masturbator just like your father.

by sir gibsalot December 9, 2008

Masturbator's Remorse

verb: Refers to the feeling of remorse felt after completion of masturbation.

Does not have to be limited to the feelings of disgust after realising what you just jerked off to.

Masturbator's Remorse also refers to feelings of sadness related to not looking at a different type of porn, not coming to a good enough stimulus, not getting through enough porn and coming to soon, feelings of loneliness and deep depression etc.

Gavin just game after two and a half minutes of shemale porn, and now he is feeling Masturbator's Remorse for not at least look up some hentai.

by NicCaged November 6, 2013

Serial masturbator

A chap who masturbates way more than usuall. normally found pulling one off into house hold items, such as: sink, shower, toilet or jam jar.

Jeff: Whats jack doing these days?

Rupert: Ahh he's being a serial masturbator somewhere!

Jeff: now I'm dark on him aye.

by BigJay! November 14, 2011

Masturbatrice

n. A female who masturbates.

(An important term of differentiation, as its masculine counterpart "masturbator" is redundant given ALL men either masturbate or masturbate and then lie about it.)

Bro 1: My girlfriend is insatiable dude. I must have walked in on her with her vibrator at least a half a dozen times.

Bro 2: That's pretty fresh man. All the girls I've dated have been so uptight about getting off. Not one has actually admitted she enjoys double-clicking her mouse.

Bro 1: You need to expand your horizons. A woman insecure about her body will invariably be reluctant to touch yours. You need a sex-positive chick, a proud masturbatrice.

by dark289 April 16, 2009

Masturbatone

The tone of voice you unwillingly use on the phone when you're trying to jerk off to the other person's voice or to muted porn (because what he/she is saying is too boring for you to care).

Rich: *Shaky voice* Yeah... Uhuh... Eheheh. Cool.
Alisa: Are masturbating to me?!
Rich: HUH!? No! Why???
Alisa: Because you're using masturbatone... Ew.

by Big Boy Blue March 26, 2010

Masturbatorium

A masturbatorium is a dank and dark basement . A masturbatorium consists of a lightbulb in the middle of the room under the lightbulb is a three legged stool. You can invite many friends but only three minutes at a time you are not allowed make any noise. There are many festivals and coming of age ceremonies that are held at a masturbatorium. Fuck you🍆🤏🏻🖕

Hey Navied you want to hit the masturbatorium after school, I brought snacks?

by Masturbatorium lover June 1, 2021