jerking a turd

Jerk•ing•a•turd jerk-in-uh-turd

-adjective
1. Speculative term used to refer to someone's tardiness or absence.

2. late; absent; missing.

Question: "Where's the groom?"
Answer: "I don't know. He’s probably jerking a turd."

The ceremony starts at 3:00 PM sharp. You better be there - don’t be jerkin’ a turd.

by CongratulationsDave&Chrissy! August 29, 2010

Jeringa

A big black Mexican that has a very big penis that is often referred to as "El Dongo". Jeringa is viewed like a prophet for some people, he enjoys circumcising babies and eating the foreskin to be satisfied. He has circumcised celebrities like Gekyume Onfroy and Thanos with his purple dick. Jeringa is the mighty giver of H.I.V, father of all Mexicans, friend of Big Chungus, Moto Moto, Ricardo Milos and Shrek, also consumer of foreskin tacos with guacamole and beans. He is also the sexiest person alive and will make you instantly nut when you see him. Jeringa also flexes every single minute of his life and enjoys doing Guacamole Nigga Penis in his free time. He also has unlimited N-word passes and will literally destroy your asshole if you engage in the sexual act with him. Jeringa enjoys shitting on toasters, burning his pee hole with a hot needle and leaving his ass unwiped after shitting.

"Save us, mighty lord Jeringa"

"Did you see El Dongo, it is beautiful"
"Gekyume was circumcised by Jeringa"

by Big Dick Monkey March 15, 2019

Beef jerking

To sprinkle beef ramen flavored packet on your penis and have your partner jerk you off until the semen mixes thoroughly with the powder so it becomes a fine mixture. Then you and your partner swallow it.

I was too poor for condoms so me and my partner were beef jerking instead.

by analdestroyer69 February 5, 2014

jerking off with sandpaper

something that may look like a good idea at first glance, but turns out to be a horrible one

1) "I thought that chick was gonna be fun, but then I hung out with her and I realized I got tricked into jerking off with sanpdper."

2) "Joe is such a douche... I swear he always calls me to play football and everytime it's your basic jerking off with sandpaper!"

by Mel Berg January 18, 2009

Jerking It

Another term for "doing alright", or "doing well", usually in relation to general small-talk. This slang is often used in New Jersey and surrounding areas. See example:

Ted: Oh, how's it going, man? How are you doing?
Alfonso: Oh, you know, man; Just jerking it.

Ted: Yeah, yeah, me too.

by thewanderingjew22 August 16, 2011

Jerking Off Steam

When a man masturbates to deal with stress.

1. Before his interview, Tim jerked off some steam so he wouldn't be nervous.
2. Tim is jerking off steam before his hot date tonight.
3. I have four papers due tomorrow! I really need to jerk off some steam right now.

by F_TRES November 19, 2009

jerking the gerkin

To masturbate, or jerk off

Oh, sweet ass it looks like I'm jerking the gerkin.

by Benny Issy April 28, 2006