guided masturbation

To have someone tell you what to do when you’re touching yourself. They control your movements and direct you on what exactly to do in order to cum.

Jerry and I were having phone sex and we decided to do guided masturbation on me.

by ribbit January 28, 2019

Houdini Guido Raid

The new most vicious Houdini to date, this move requires the help of at least 12 Guidos and a Cadillac with a nice stereo system.

Engage in sex doggy style, when reaching climax spit on the ladies back. When she turns to face you a Cadillac should smash through the wall and at least 12 Guidos should disembark and begin to fist pump to the loudest, most obnoxious techno music known to man.

Then Cum in her face.

Mike: Hey, did you see that new show Jersey shore?
Tom: Yeah, it's so fake. No one has even gotten Houdini Guido Raided yet.

by fist pumpin' champ December 9, 2009

Guidhoe

1: A girl who dances like a slut at guido clubs.
2: A guido's girlfriend.

1:
Guy 1: Hey check out that guidhoe on the floor.
Guy 2: Yeah man i head she'll suck oyu dry for pocket change!

2:
Guy 1: Giovanni and Sicilia broke up.
Guy 2: Yeah i heard he was gettin' tired of that guidhoe.

by Bobby Crown February 21, 2008

The Complete Guide To Everything

Weekly podcast hosted by Tom and his sidekick Tim.

Or if you are Tim: weekly podcast hosted by Tim and his sidekick Tom

Basically, TCGTE is the funniest podcast you will ever hear.

Topics vary from time travel to dating and everything inbetween.

"Tim- Fucking baby boomers!
Tom- ...ok...so anyway, starbucks..."

Listener-Ah The Complete Guide To Everything, legend .

by iheartbabyboomers. jk im tim! November 21, 2010

Guido torpedo

Any kind of fast car that a guido would drive or does drive with the tendency to explode when driven into a solid structure at high speeds.

Guido "Did you hear about Kevin"
other Guido"no"
Guido "Well turns out he took out half of rite-aid with his guido torpedo when he was trying to get some hair gel"
other Guido "Fucking waste of a V-dub"

by Dirty Dorian March 29, 2007

Guido Machine

A car (usually crappy import 4 cylinder or domestic equiv) driven by a sad pathetic excuse for a male; not necessarily of Italian descent, but most likely; usually native to the New York/New Jersey Tri-State area. Usually outfitted with ridiculous rims, a ridiculous spoiler, etc, etc.

Damn, look at that disgusting guido machine.

by Douchebaggierie February 28, 2010

Community Guidelines

That really long thing nobody reads but agrees too anyways. See also Content Guidelines.

"I agree to the community guidelines"

by Apple Byter February 21, 2020