Skip to main content
GoonTard - a Portmanteau of Gooner and Retarded. Used to refer to a Chronic Compulsive Masturbator who jerks off for hours and hours and hours every day. He eventually becomes a stupid gooner and looks like he's retarded because his brain has shut down all but core functions. Most guys consider them Idiots and Morons because they have no goals or ambition other than to masturbate all day long, usually on the internet where anyone can see them.
Tim: Hey Ryan, I heard your older brother is a GoonTard

Ryan: Yeah, he's a Total GoonTard.

Tim: Does he really do nothing but masturbate all day?

Ryan: Yeah, mom and dad have given up on him. He hasn't left his sroom in 3 months, so they just slide a plate of food in there once a day.

Tim: Sorry bro.

Ryan: Yeah Me too. I'm afraid I'm gonna become a GoonTard too.
Goontard by Antonio El Pajero July 31, 2020
Related Words

Jimmy Grant 

The collective name given to those people who immigrate to another settlement due to the almost rhyming nature of the words 'Immigrant' and 'Jimmy Grant'.

It may also be used as a descrete derogatory term when it is often shortened to 'Jimmy'.
Customs Officer: "Hold on a second Jimmy Grant, can I see your passport?"
Jimmy Grant by Doctor N November 14, 2009

lizzy grant 

lana del rey's real name, the name you wish you had
"Have you heard that new song by Lizzy Grant?"
"Who?"
"Lana Del Rey!!!"
"Oh!"
lizzy grant by may jailer February 12, 2014

take for granted 

To give little attention to or to underestimate the value of, to fail to appreciate.
Usually the epiphany of having taking something for granted comes after its already gone.
You take for granted all the love i give. I best give it to someone else.

Adam Gontier 

Adam Gontier is the lead singer, rhythm guitarist and songwriter for the Canadian rock band Saint Asonia buthe is best-known as the former lead singer, rhythm guitarist and songwriter of the Canadian rock band Three Days Grace. He has also released some songs as a solo artist and collaborated with other artists such as, but not limited to Apocalyptica, Art of Dying, and The Big Dirty Band.
Fan: Hey, do you like Adam Gontier?
Idk: Who’s Adam Gontier?
Fan: That’s it! We’re done talking. Get the fuck out of my sight! (Jk I’ll still talk to you even if you don’t know him because you do now after reading this)

Adam Gontier 

Singer/Song-Writer.

Born and raised in Ontario, Canada.

Possibly the Second Coming of Christ

Most Noted for his role as the ex-lead singer of Three Days Grace and lead singer for Saint Asonia
Adam Gontier is possibly one of the greatest songwriters of all time
Adam Gontier by LaneTaco October 15, 2018