closet glaze

Whenever a girl does something stupid to you without consciousness of consequences that warrants retaliation, you take her to a closet of sufficient size to accommodate the both of you. Prior to entering you inform a friend or acquaintance to gather a group of people in front of the closet door in the next few minutes. If all goes according to plan at this point the girl will be topless and giving you a blow job. As stealthily as possible, hide her garments somewhere out of her reach. What you are going to do is ejaculate on her face, put your dick away, and exit the closet to acknowledge the crowd gathered by your friend with "Ayyyyy" and possibly a thumbs up. The girl has just been closet glazed.

Guy: "Dude, I was at this party and before I could even get through the door some drunk girl with nice tits stops me, starts hitting on me and acting like she knows me. In her drunken stupor she slaps my phone out of my hand and the screen spider webs on the sidewalk. She was too stupid to realize that she had done anything wrong so I gave her a closet glaze. Hopefully next time she will take a moment to think before she drinks."

Dude: "Wait, wait, wait, you got a blow job?"

by Bronco Avenger July 9, 2010

Glazed buns

A pair of buttocks covered in semen. The result coming (pun intended) from a man masturbating near (usually) a woman's ass, and then ejaculating on to said ass.

I had a great time with Amanda last night. We had sex for 3 hours, and I gave her a pair of glazed buns. It was amazing!

by Random Anonymous Man November 5, 2012

Double Glazed Coolata

The process of jerking off into an old sock, letting the seman dry to get that nice glazed feeling, and re-inserting your dick into the old gym sock while sticking ice cubes up your ass to help you get off. For extra topping, don't forget to stick your finger in that melted down brown ass water on your bed and give it a sniff.

"John, your looking a little sluggish today, what's wrong?

"I just havn't had my Double Glazed Coolata yet, that always wakes me up!"

by Dr. Kockter August 6, 2014

Cooch glaze

Vaginal discharge, most notably the kind secreted in anticipation of sexual intercourse

Because Debbie's sexual encounters were dry and painful, her sex therapist recommended that she focus on foreplay and make sure that she has secreted enough cooch glaze before attempting penetration.

Also,

If your body produces excessive cooch glaze, it is not a good idea to go cucha libre.

by Squeezesha October 16, 2006

Shame Glaze

Cum dried on your stomach, in your belly button, or on your face if you're unfortunate enough.

Aww shit, I got shame glaze on my lips.

by IDontFuckinKnoeh February 5, 2012

Glaiven

What Professer Frink from The Simpsons yells when he is either excited or upset.

Professer Frink "I could be a jedi, with the shwingggg shwingggg OH GLAIVEN"

by Sam Telfer June 11, 2006

blaze and glaze

the act in which a girl gives a man a blowjob whilst he smokes weed.

blaze- smoking weed
glaze- ejaculating on a woman's face (usually performed after a blowjob)

yo man how did it go with gash u were in with last night?
safe man, she let me blaze and glaze all night long!

by KtotheSIZZLE July 24, 2011