Distance Distortion Factor

when a girl/guy looks appealing from far away but get distinctively uglier the closer you get.

Guy 1: Man she's HOT!!!!!!

Guy 2: Nah man that's a DDF.

Guy 1: A what?

Guy 2: Distance Distortion Factor. See shes so ugly now that were close.

by bombsquad1825 May 13, 2011

Rectal Dilator

A sexual device, like a butt plug, used to loosen, open, relax and stimulate the anal sphincter muscle. Ideal for those into gaping.

Also may refer to a person that packs such a massive cock that they leave one’s anus pulverized and wide open after anal sex.

Rachel and I went to the adult shop last night and I bought her a 12x6 rectal dilator. She was gaping so good I was able to fist her.

Francisco took me home last night and we had sex for the first time. Let’s just say he’s a rectal dilator like no other. I’m sore.

by Eaton Holgoode December 11, 2018

Harmonic Distortion

fart

Did you just make a harmonic distortion?

by California Genius December 7, 2010

reality distortion field

reality-distortion field n. An expression used to describe the persuasive ability of managers like Steve Jobs (the term originated at Apple Computer in the 1980's to describe his peculiar charisma). Those close to these managers become passionately committed to possibly insane projects, without regard to the practicality of their implementation or competitive forces in the marketpace.

"A reality distortion field. In Steve's presence, reality is malleable. He can convince anyone of practically anything. It wears off when he's not around, but it makes it hard to have realistic schedules."

by Matrix9180 August 12, 2004

distorian

distorian—noun 1. a person who distorts, rather than honestly reports, history. 2. a person who, under the guise of reporting history, engages in a diatribe, debunking, or moral defenestration. 3. a person whose view of history is decidedly downbeat or misanthropic. adjective, of or concerning such a faux-historical or negative attitude or reporting.

A White House distorian says George Bush is the best president the US has ever had.

That new book that claims there was no Holocaust was obviously written by a distorian.

All those gloomy-doomy types that deny the world is constantly getting better are taking a distorian view of things.

by J. Karlin September 13, 2006

Distance Distortion Factor (DDF)

The mathematical equation/proof that girls are exponentially hotter, the farther away they are from you.

Wowwwwwwwwww, look at that shorty up there, she be lookin' good!

Naww, man, dats just the Distance Distortion Factor (DDF).

by A Bathing Ape August 16, 2008

Portion Distortion

The act of making a meal much larger than it should be; hence, you get fat on three meals a day.

Guy 1: Holy shit, how large is that lasagna you're eating? That's enough for at least two people!

Guy 2: So what?

Guy 1: It's portion distortion!

by P R Me June 28, 2010