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Coaning

The grouping of morphemes extracted from the words constant and moaning. Describes those people who cannot, for any reason, stop moaning. Usually a symptom suffered amongst those who don't each much food, hence, common in the speech patterns of cheerleaders, models and those with unecessary eating disorders.
Abbie's doing my head in today, she can't stop f*cking coaning. I wish she'd go eat a chocolate or something, skinny cow.
by Rabid Pidgeon November 4, 2009
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self confidence

being content with who you are. mentally and physically.

walking into a room and not caring what others think.
loving yourself the way you are.
She used to walk into a room and wonder if the people liked her, now she walks in and wonders if she likes them, that girl has finally gained some self confidence. (:
by adriana932 December 30, 2013
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Coffinmouth

The almost inevitable consequence of a Seattle speedball. It's the noxious combination of cottonmouth and coffee breath that's foul enough to wake the dead (which, coincidentally, is what people nearby might think you're trying to do).
My boyfriend tried to kiss me this morning after taking a Seattle speedball, but his coffinmouth made me feel like I was being tongue-punched by a stoned zombie; Crest, or holy water, are recommended solutions.
by Penguigeon October 15, 2014
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College Confidential

A place for trolls who want to make everyone feel bad with bogus accomplishments.

Sample post:
AP's
Soph. year
World History 5
Chemistry 5
French Lang 5
Euro History 5 (self-study)

Junior Year
Eng. Lit 5
Biology 5
Span Lang 5
Eng. Lang 5
Music Theory 5 (self-study)
US History 5
Calculus AB 5
Computer Science 5 (self-study)

Senior Year
Physics B

Physics C E&M and Mechanics (self-study)
Env. Sci (self-study)
Calculus BC

Statistics (self-study)
US Gov.

Comp Gov

Latin Virgil (self-study)
Japanese
Psychology
Human Geography (self-study)

I only took 5 AP classes senior year, earned a 34 on the ACT, 2290 on the SAT, earned a million awards, have 3,219 community service hours, gave a speech in front of 100,000 people, earned a plaque from my counselor for writing the best application essay he's ever seen, got 780 or better on each of the 16 subject tests I've taken. I have a 4.99 GPA, and I am #2 in my class of 933 (it's a big school and it's competitive) and I'm an internet troll. I have no chance into any college at all! Will colleges care if I didn't take that many AP classes? and that I have bad scores? Tell me! I don't want to be a loser. I have no chance at all!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!1111OMG1!!!ROFLZ!!!!1!!!!!!

Proper reply: If you think a 34 on the ACT give you no chance into any school, you might be as smart as Christian Weston Chandler. Even the perfect student doesn't take that many AP tests, let alone earns all fives.
Post 2 on College Confidential
Here's what I will do senior year:
Maintain my 5.00 GPA
Speak at my graduation
Apply to all the Ivy League schools, Stanford (match), MIT (match), Caltech, Northwestern (safety), and Oxford
Get accepted into all of them
Earn $245,000 in scholarships
Become editor-in-chief in every publication at my school
Go to Tuscany for spring break with my gf since preschool
Break 17 or more school athletics records
Become national track and field champion again
Play at Carnegie Hall
Become state tennis champion for the fifth year in a row
Take 7 AP courses in school and self-study five
Get 5's in all of those AP exams
Become the National AP Scholar
Get some plaque for some award that I don't think exists
Write the advice book "If you aren't in the top 2% in your class, have a 2100 on the SAT, and earn several 5's on your AP exams, you will die alone and live a miserable life on the street"
Own an iPad and make $2,000,000 off making apps

Proper reply: How is all this possible?
by DoubleDare July 9, 2010
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cognitively fucked

(verb). Often occurs when a person has spent an excessive amount of time in an intellectual situation (ie-- cramming for an exam, marathon seminar sessions, problem-solving) and is not longer able to process info due to mental fatigue. Even simple thinking (ie-- how do you toast bread, what is your boyfriend's sister's name?) is impaired because mentally wiped out.

You may not be physically tired, but mentally feels like you are now an e-tard.
Sally spent 12 hours straight studying for some class, and therefore is unable to describe the most basic things, like how to make a sandwich. She is now cognitively fucked.

I can't even think of a good enough example because I've been working on this stupid problem for 13 hours and now I'm cognitively fucked and want a beer.
by sleepywantbeer October 2, 2009
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Self-confidence

“Hey I heard Bridget’s signing up to be an SRC! Are you signing up?”
Oh shit, no one’s gonna want a fucking emo girl with no self-confidence to sign up”
by ImAHappyLilHoe April 8, 2019
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Peter's Coffin

The opposite of Occam's Razor, it applies to situations where the most convoluted, elaborate explanation is the most likely to be true.

It's named in honor of Peter Coffin, who got famous for creating an incredibly complex labyrinth of lies in order to pretend he had lost his virginity. When some inconsistencies in his story became apparent, some people suggested bizarre explanations as a joke, but later the most ludicrous ones turned out to be true.
"Okay, so either Peter finally got a girlfriend, or he has dedicated the last few years of his life to the elaboration of a complex network of deception that involves a real size sex doll, thousands of dollars worth of girl's clothes, including custom made cosplay, dozens of sockpuppet accounts interacting with each other, several blogs and twitter accounts that he writes himself regularly, photo manipulation, stop motion animation, hiring a Scottish woman to record voice samples, dressing in drag, finding girls that looked like the doll and secretly taking pictures of them, stealing a baby, acquiring hospital equipment to use as props, and forging official documents, and he did all this despite he was caught years ago doing something similar and got publicly humiliated for it. Now seriously, what do you think is more likely?"

"By application of Peter's Coffin, the second hypothesis is the most likely."

A few days later...

"Oh my god! I can't believe it was all true! Peter's Coffin was right again!"
by MastermindX January 29, 2015
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