naive, reckless, emotionless, careless, ignorant people...usually.
on rare occasions, you have the asian mother who is somewhat whitewashed and doesnt giv a fuck cuz she has her perfect son to worry about instead of paying attention ot her dumbass daughter. but the father fits the stereotypes 110% of the time.
grade scale:
A- acceptable
B- bullshit
C- cunt
D- death
F- there is no such thing
SAT:
2400- well no one gets this score
2300- brags about you to other asian parents
2200- expected
2100- why didnt you get a 2200?
2000- maybe a U.C.
1900- okay
1800- alright
1700- acceptable
1600- fail
anything below 1600 and you will be disowned and promised to be kicked out the day you turn 18
on rare occasions, you have the asian mother who is somewhat whitewashed and doesnt giv a fuck cuz she has her perfect son to worry about instead of paying attention ot her dumbass daughter. but the father fits the stereotypes 110% of the time.
grade scale:
A- acceptable
B- bullshit
C- cunt
D- death
F- there is no such thing
SAT:
2400- well no one gets this score
2300- brags about you to other asian parents
2200- expected
2100- why didnt you get a 2200?
2000- maybe a U.C.
1900- okay
1800- alright
1700- acceptable
1600- fail
anything below 1600 and you will be disowned and promised to be kicked out the day you turn 18
kid #1: why cant u go to the bonfire tonight?
kid #2: i'm not allowed to stay out late...even though im 17.
kid #1: oh thats right i forgot u were asian.
kid #2: im just gonna smoke a bowl in my room with the door locked so i can escape for a few hours.
kid #1: are you grounded
kid #2: no. i have asian parents.
kid #2: i'm not allowed to stay out late...even though im 17.
kid #1: oh thats right i forgot u were asian.
kid #2: im just gonna smoke a bowl in my room with the door locked so i can escape for a few hours.
kid #1: are you grounded
kid #2: no. i have asian parents.
by bobisnotmyrealname June 14, 2009
Asian parents hold extremely high expectation for their children. To name a few, they sign their kids up for math tutoring sessions at an early age, they force their kids to pick up instruments (probably the piano or the violin), and finally, they demand perfection in the academic field. Furthermore, they are definitely going to sign their children up for ACT and SAT prep before the kids enter high school. If their child perform "poorly" (98 percentile) on a standardized test, Asian parents will make sure that they retake the test, and will also tell their child that they will never succeed because of one test. Asian parents also have a hatred towards electronics. If they are generous, they will allow their children to play up to 15 minutes per week, but nothing else. They also like to confiscate electronics if their kids performs "poorly" (A-) on a test. They will blame the electronic for the poor grade. If their kid were to get a 99 on a test, the it was the computer's fault. Finally, Asian parents completely disregard their children's feelings. By holding their children to such high expectations, the child often feels like a failure because he got an A instead of an A+. When confronted by their kids, Asian parents will claim that they "know better" because they are adults. An Asian kid will often see his American friend having a great time on Spring break, but will never get to know what it's like because of their parents.
Asian parents: Son, you have only studied the ACT for 2 hours and have only made 4 posters for science fair. Study more or you will work in McDonald's for the rest of your life!
Kid: It's Winter break. Chill.
Asian parents: Define the word "break."
Kid: Fuck
Asian parents: *beat child for swearing* There is no break for you! You need to catch up!
Kid: I'm already 4 years ahead!
Asian parents: NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
Kid: It's Winter break. Chill.
Asian parents: Define the word "break."
Kid: Fuck
Asian parents: *beat child for swearing* There is no break for you! You need to catch up!
Kid: I'm already 4 years ahead!
Asian parents: NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
by that_asian_guy March 25, 2020
utterly obsessive in one's life and you'll always be the kid no matter how old you are. 40? Still a kid.
Farked asian parent: Your study no good enough!
You: But I have got all high grades and soon off to exchange through scholarship which is really hard to get!
F.A.P: WA? You go by yourself? NO you CANT go anywhere, until you get married.
You: I have a LIFE of MY OWN you KNOW?
F.A.P: NO! You CAN'T GO BY URSELF, your mother go with you, or I go with you, you choose.
You: Hell NO! I can take care of myself for christ sake! I'm AN ADULT!
F.A.P: NO, your a KID, you don't know how to do anything, you don't know how to cook, how to clean, how to wash, how to take care of yourself!!!
You: WTF?!??!!! DID U EVER LET ME LEARN IN THE FIRST PLACE? BLOODY HELL, NO ONE WAS BORN TO KNOW HOW TO DO EVERYTHING, I WILL LEARN MYSELF WITHOUT YOUR DARN HELP!!!
POINT BEING:
obsessive asian parents will first control your life by doing everything for you, and make you study and work day and night, so you dont have time to learn the everyday skills. And then when your old enough, got some success in ur studies and career, and want to live on your own, they throw you the line: YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF...WTF... just to keep you with them FOREVER...
SO FARKED I SWEAR!!!
You: But I have got all high grades and soon off to exchange through scholarship which is really hard to get!
F.A.P: WA? You go by yourself? NO you CANT go anywhere, until you get married.
You: I have a LIFE of MY OWN you KNOW?
F.A.P: NO! You CAN'T GO BY URSELF, your mother go with you, or I go with you, you choose.
You: Hell NO! I can take care of myself for christ sake! I'm AN ADULT!
F.A.P: NO, your a KID, you don't know how to do anything, you don't know how to cook, how to clean, how to wash, how to take care of yourself!!!
You: WTF?!??!!! DID U EVER LET ME LEARN IN THE FIRST PLACE? BLOODY HELL, NO ONE WAS BORN TO KNOW HOW TO DO EVERYTHING, I WILL LEARN MYSELF WITHOUT YOUR DARN HELP!!!
POINT BEING:
obsessive asian parents will first control your life by doing everything for you, and make you study and work day and night, so you dont have time to learn the everyday skills. And then when your old enough, got some success in ur studies and career, and want to live on your own, they throw you the line: YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF...WTF... just to keep you with them FOREVER...
SO FARKED I SWEAR!!!
by F.A.P SUCK July 21, 2009
asian moms usually care mostly about looking young and will do anything for self benefit($)
dads usually don't give two shits about their children and shitty wife and chase other asian family wives(who play along with him and take advantage of all his money)
Asian parents usually call their kids stupid and useless for making simple mistakes. Especially mistakes that were meant to be made (their first try on something they never learned). They will ALWAYS compare you to their friend's kids and will talk shit in front of you. They will compliment their friend's kids like they are a godsend and say that their own kid has no future. Oh, and if it's the dad compliment someone's kids, then it's usually a housewife's kids. He will say how good he is with kids and talk about how good he is at cooking. Remember when Facebook came out around 2000s and everyone was being sheeps? WeChat is the asian app version of that. For asian parents. Thats where they talk shit about their own kids on that app while telling friends every single activity that they did that day. Because they are quirky and active. Also, they will never admit wrong. They are always right.
dads usually don't give two shits about their children and shitty wife and chase other asian family wives(who play along with him and take advantage of all his money)
Asian parents usually call their kids stupid and useless for making simple mistakes. Especially mistakes that were meant to be made (their first try on something they never learned). They will ALWAYS compare you to their friend's kids and will talk shit in front of you. They will compliment their friend's kids like they are a godsend and say that their own kid has no future. Oh, and if it's the dad compliment someone's kids, then it's usually a housewife's kids. He will say how good he is with kids and talk about how good he is at cooking. Remember when Facebook came out around 2000s and everyone was being sheeps? WeChat is the asian app version of that. For asian parents. Thats where they talk shit about their own kids on that app while telling friends every single activity that they did that day. Because they are quirky and active. Also, they will never admit wrong. They are always right.
Asian Parent1 (Dad): Oh my son is so fucking autistic, he's a retarded fucking cunt. By the way, I love your kids they are so adorable *kiss noises*
Asian Parent Housewife Who Clearly Has a Rich Husband and Two Kids: Oh~ thank you~ mmm~ your money- i mean kids are not that fucking degenerate at all~
Asian Parent Housewife Who Clearly Has a Rich Husband and Two Kids: Oh~ thank you~ mmm~ your money- i mean kids are not that fucking degenerate at all~
by stupid useless asian April 09, 2020
parents who are asian. many times they will push their kids very hard academically in hopes of them having a good job in the future. unlike most american parents who actually have a sense of reasoning, asian parents always think they are right and will not accept any other answer than a yes. anything but an A on a report card means failure at something, even though on the report card it usually says a B is above average. they are also many times more strict than the average white parent, sometimes not even letting their kids go out partying everyday and al most always thinking about how other people are going to judge them based on the actionas of their child. even though they believe that their actions are the best, it is not always the case. although studying to get that 5.0 in school might get you into a good college to get a slightly better job there are many other things that are sacrificed along the way. some of them including social interactions and good memories. the main problem, as i see it, is that they raise their child as they were raised but in a conpletely different setting causing najor disputes.
Asian kid 1 - Crap i have to do homework for five AP classes and if i get a B my asian parents are gonna kill meee!!
ASian kid 2 - dude just relax, its america. if you defy them for too long they'll leave you alone. now lets go smoke some weed and listen to pink floyd.
asian kid 1 - alright fuck this! tis my life mothafuckas!!
ASian kid 2 - dude just relax, its america. if you defy them for too long they'll leave you alone. now lets go smoke some weed and listen to pink floyd.
asian kid 1 - alright fuck this! tis my life mothafuckas!!
by aznmetalhead January 04, 2008
1.
Asshole dad: YOU MUST GET HAIRCUT TODAY NOW! YOU HAIR TOO LONG! SO UGLY!
Me: Why can't I look the way I want?
Dad: YOU LOOK LIKE GIRL! DO YOU WANT PEOPLE THINK YOU GIRL?!!?!??!?!?!
Me: How is 3 inch long hair girly?
Dad: NO MATTER WHAT, YOU MUST GET HAIRCUT TODAY! OR I TAKE YOU LAPTOP AWAY!
Me: ... *gets a lopsided haircut that makes me look like a fucking nerd. Asian parents fail. *
2.
Faghead dad: Did you do your homework today?
Me: Yeah
Dad: did you do your homework today?
Me: Yes.
Dad: did you do your homework today?
Me: YES!!!
Dad: WHY YOU YELL? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO YELL AT ME!
Me: Well obviously you couldn't hear me so I had to yell
Dad: SHUT UP!!!
Me: Fine...
Dad: YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST KID EVER. *beats*
3.
This is a true story. I was in 4th grade, and my mom was trying to teach me how to add fractions. I didn't get it at the time, and here's what happened:
Mom: Do #1
Me: *does it, gets it wrong*
Mom: WRONG! HOW YOU FORGET? DO THE COMMON DENOMINATOR!
Me: I'm trying!
Mom: WATCH!!! *does problem, expects me to magically know how to do it* Now do #2
Me: *still doesn't get it, gets it wrong*
Mom: STUPID! DO THE COMMON DENOMINATOR! *bitch slaps*
Me: *sobbing* I don't know how!
Mom: *angrily does the problem, and breaks the pencil in the middle* SHARPEN IT!
Me: *sharpens*
Mom: Now do #3!
Me: *gets it wrong. How does she expect me to learn this stuff in a day as a 4th grader?*
Mom: YOU ARE THE MOST STUPIDEST KID IN THE WORLD! *goes in a bitch slapping and punching frenzy*
Me: *ends up with lots of bruises*
4.
Fucktard dad: *watching '24' with me* This is the stupidest show ever. All it does is label chinese people as bad guys
Me: ... There are american terrorists too...
Dad: This is the most unrealistic stuff ever. Bullshit. How does jack survive everything?
Me: How come martial artists in chinese movies can fly? Unrealistic much?
Dad: Shut up
Asshole dad: YOU MUST GET HAIRCUT TODAY NOW! YOU HAIR TOO LONG! SO UGLY!
Me: Why can't I look the way I want?
Dad: YOU LOOK LIKE GIRL! DO YOU WANT PEOPLE THINK YOU GIRL?!!?!??!?!?!
Me: How is 3 inch long hair girly?
Dad: NO MATTER WHAT, YOU MUST GET HAIRCUT TODAY! OR I TAKE YOU LAPTOP AWAY!
Me: ... *gets a lopsided haircut that makes me look like a fucking nerd. Asian parents fail. *
2.
Faghead dad: Did you do your homework today?
Me: Yeah
Dad: did you do your homework today?
Me: Yes.
Dad: did you do your homework today?
Me: YES!!!
Dad: WHY YOU YELL? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO YELL AT ME!
Me: Well obviously you couldn't hear me so I had to yell
Dad: SHUT UP!!!
Me: Fine...
Dad: YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST KID EVER. *beats*
3.
This is a true story. I was in 4th grade, and my mom was trying to teach me how to add fractions. I didn't get it at the time, and here's what happened:
Mom: Do #1
Me: *does it, gets it wrong*
Mom: WRONG! HOW YOU FORGET? DO THE COMMON DENOMINATOR!
Me: I'm trying!
Mom: WATCH!!! *does problem, expects me to magically know how to do it* Now do #2
Me: *still doesn't get it, gets it wrong*
Mom: STUPID! DO THE COMMON DENOMINATOR! *bitch slaps*
Me: *sobbing* I don't know how!
Mom: *angrily does the problem, and breaks the pencil in the middle* SHARPEN IT!
Me: *sharpens*
Mom: Now do #3!
Me: *gets it wrong. How does she expect me to learn this stuff in a day as a 4th grader?*
Mom: YOU ARE THE MOST STUPIDEST KID IN THE WORLD! *goes in a bitch slapping and punching frenzy*
Me: *ends up with lots of bruises*
4.
Fucktard dad: *watching '24' with me* This is the stupidest show ever. All it does is label chinese people as bad guys
Me: ... There are american terrorists too...
Dad: This is the most unrealistic stuff ever. Bullshit. How does jack survive everything?
Me: How come martial artists in chinese movies can fly? Unrealistic much?
Dad: Shut up
by iHateAsianParentss April 19, 2009
Typical Grading System according to Asian Parents:
A = Almost Good Enough
B = Beating
C = Cry In A Corner
D = Death
E = Excruciating Death
F = F***ing Excruciating Death
A = Almost Good Enough
B = Beating
C = Cry In A Corner
D = Death
E = Excruciating Death
F = F***ing Excruciating Death
Me: I got 200% on my test just like you wanted!
Asian Parents: 200%?! Why no 400%?
Me: But the maximum was 200%—
Asian Parents: NO EXCUSE FOR FAILURE!!! YOU GROUNDED!!!
Asian Parents: 200%?! Why no 400%?
Me: But the maximum was 200%—
Asian Parents: NO EXCUSE FOR FAILURE!!! YOU GROUNDED!!!
by SevenFootRatsRatsAlongHisRats August 21, 2022