Albuquerque

Beautiful mountain city in the Southwest, like most other American cities it has its issues. However, Albuquerque is home to the most idiotic drivers in the country. It has been documented in thousands of peer reviewed articles.

Me: damn, this idiot in a huge pickup with the Our Lady Guadalupe and machine gun stickers just cut me off, slammed on the breaks and flipped ME off!

Passenger: Psh. Albuquerque, fool! You know how it is!

by Biznatch75 April 7, 2024

Albuquerque

The place where there are snorkel-stealing hermaphrodites, donut shops that only have weasels, Colombia Record Club loving girls, and chain-saw wielding workers at The Sizzler.

That's right, a first class one-way ticket to Albuquerque!

by FridayFunkGaming291 July 28, 2025

Albuquerque

A magical faraway place where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are oh so fluffy, and the shriners and the lepers play their ukeleles all day long and anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel.

"I knew I should've taken a left turn at Albuquerque"

by Robiginal October 25, 2025

Albuquerque Hello

When arriving in Albuquerque someone puts a trash bag over your head a sprays ether (preferably Polar brand starter fluid) in the bag until you pass out. Then you are placed in an 8 foot ditch and covered with dirt.

When James and Jimmie came to our small town we gave them an Albuquerque Hello.

by Spicy0304 September 12, 2019

Albuquerque Aloha

Stabbing someone. This is how people in Albuquerque say "Hello", " Goodbye", and "Thank you".

Frank's in the hospital. Someone gave him the 'ole Albuquerque Aloha.

by Blkhrt September 12, 2016

Albuquerque hello

Is the act of knocking someone out with a piggly wiggly bag full of starter fluid then burying them alive in an eight foot garbage hole in your backyard with a borrowed backhoe.

James: Hey, Jimmie, have you seen Janice?
Jimmie: No James, I haven't I think Karen gave her an Albuquerque hello.

by Fourty two September 13, 2019

Albuquerque jackhammer

Occurs when a female thrusts her pelvis forcefully and repeatedly into the face of someone performing cunnilingus on her, causing rapid collisions of her pubic bone and the muff diver's face (and thus crudely emulating a jackhammer). These violent collisions may result in bruising of the victim's face and, in particularly violent cases, broken bones. The Albuquerque jackhammer usually occurs inadvertently as a result of extreme ecstasy felt by the female, and in such cases she is either unaware of the violent motions she is carrying out or aware of them but unable to stop or control them. In rare cases an Albuquerque jackhammer may be carried out intentionally by a woman, usually to seek revenge on an ex-lover whom she has seduced into performing cunnilingus on her under the false pretense that they have become fuck buddies. In such cases of revenge, the female will usually trap the unsuspecting victim in a headlock with her thighs, so as to enable a merciless rain of blows upon his face without him escaping.

"Jesus, John! Your face is so horribly bruised! What happened?"

"Well, I saw Sarah last night at a bar, and she came up to me and said she still had feelings for me and wanted to be fuck buddies. Naturally, I obliged, and the next thing I know she has me in a headlock with her thighs giving me an Albuquerque jackhammer! I was in the ER all night."

"Good God, man."

by corsendonk September 21, 2009