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shock absorber

A shock absorber is a guy that you take around with you to meet girls. The shock absorber's primary job is to entertain the ugly girls that are friends with hot girls, thus 'absorbing' the 'shock' of the situation as you now have a cockblock-free chance to hit on the hot girls. The shock absorber usually already is in a serious relationship or is gay.......or both.
"Hey Steve Watson, wanna be my shock absorber this summer?"

"So, this girl in a wheelchair came up to me. But luckily my shock absorber, Steve Watson, took care of her."

"Who wants a moustache ride?..No not you, ugly girl. You can have one from my shock absorber, Steve Watson"
by John Lyman July 16, 2004
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Self Absorbed Emo

emo bitch psycho Girl who tells shit about you, just so she can see her long-distance boyfriend that she is cheating on. Self Absorbed Emos are commonly whores, and bitch a lot about how everyone is not good enough for them. The Self Absorbed Emo is clearly emo, but will deny it until their untimely death.
"Claire told her parents I made her smoke weed so that her parents would let her go to Pheonix to see her boyfriend. I can't believe my best friend would say such shit! She is such a Self Absorbed Emo. She was talking about suicide the other day, what a weirdo."
"Word up man."
by Alex Koppell December 14, 2008
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abhorrent

n. income generated by renting your property to whores
Billy started life pimping his sister on the streets, but got much more abhorrent once he had bought a condo.
by Bits January 3, 2008
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absorbanent

An improper spelling/pronunciation of "exorbitant", used by those who are not well-read to try to sound well-read.
The rent at my trailer park is downright absorbanent, golldernit!
by Isaac Z. Schlueter June 14, 2008
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When someone is in the hospital because they're fucking retarded they cut themself and they try to blame it on you, when all you've done is help.
"You my good hoe, are an over emotional self absorbed cunt bag. "
by fagglepufflover69 July 18, 2016
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Absorbation

When a man edges for so long his penis becomes moisturised by all of the pre-cum absorbed into his skin as he strokes.
Man, absorbation makes your shaft soooooooooooo soft!
by Lil_Kitten August 14, 2021
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Kinetic Energy Absorber

Noun:
1. Vagina
2. Vessel that aborbs or takes in energitic matter

Misc:
1. Often used to house deposits made in rape dollars.
I totally owe Anna for the fag she bummed me and her kinetic energy absorber is the perfect place for my rape dollar deposit.
by KillaSmooth September 8, 2006
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