Jack Bauer 

Verb:

To Jack Bauer someone is the act of taking ones penis and stabbing it through someones skull into the brain, instantly killing them.

Man... I just Jack Bauered that bitch!

I was loosing the fight but I was finally able to get ahold of his head and I Jack Bauered him.

He is such a badass... he totally Jack Bauered that guy!

I was supposed to be put asleep for killing someone but I asked the council to reconsider so I could be Jack Bauered.

Jack Bauer by Andy Norris June 4, 2008

Jack Bauer 

A man shoots a woman and inserts his penis into the bullet wound.

I Jack Bauer'd a girl last night.

Jack Bauer by tony almeda 2 April 18, 2009

Jack Bauer 

A man who enjoys dominant roleplay in the bedroom, having his partner at his complete mercy and torturing them until they submit to his will. A male version of a dominatrix, if you will.

So named for the lead character of the hit Fox series "24", Jack Bauer will do whatever it takes to thwart terrorism and is notorious for his brutal interrogation methods.

I heard her boyfriend's a total Jack Bauer; I never thought she was into that kind of thing.

or

Yeah, I pulled a Jack Bauer on her. She was begging me to let her do me by the time I was done.

Jack Bauer by Crazy Pelirrojo April 20, 2009

Jack Bauer 

Literally the sexiest man to walk the planet. His genitals drag the floor as he moves. His physique is like no other. He is like a mixture between The Rock and The Michelin Man. I would let him go beast mode on me no homo ;)

I want to fuck Jack Bauer.
I want Jack Bauer to cum inside me.
Jack Bauer has a monster dong.

Jack Bauer by sgraveyy February 3, 2020

Jack Bauer Power Dump

1. Noun
During the commericals on 24, Jack Bauer quickly takes huge shits that are both extremly quick and extremly potent
2. Verb
To take a Jack Bauer Power Dump
When out in public and you have to take a dump really bad and have to use a public toilet but don't want to spend a lot of time on the seat so you force everything out really fast.

"Man, I just took a huge Jack Bauer Power Dump."
"Jack where have you been?" "Taking a Jack Bauer Power Dump."

Jack Bauer Power Dump by Crapper July 22, 2008

Jack Bauer Shower 

Improvising personal hygiene solutions when not having the time or means to take a real shower. For a true Jack Bauer Shower, one has to use Lysol antibacterial wipes on one's nether regions. The pain means it's working.

Dude1:"Dude, you stink like shit dipped in vinegar and your interview is in 10 minutes!!!"
Dude2: "Time for a Jack Bauer Shower!!"


Reporter: "You've been lost in the woods for 2 weeks! How did you stay so fresh?!"
Jack Bauer: "I'm Jack Bauer."

Jack Bauer Shower by MathKills February 10, 2009

jack bauer cream pie 

When you bake a pie for the bad president you have a orgasm in his pie haha watch him eat it

I'm Jack Bauer and I'll make you eat my famous jack bauer cream pie

jack bauer cream pie by dvbennett March 19, 2020