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Whimsical Wanker

When a person (or manager) acts like a disney princess or as if they were living in a musical. They often like dogs, and sometimes enjoy being inappropriate with condoms in pubs.

A whimsical wanker can often be found swimming on the dancefloor.

A highly entertaining person.

A person can truly call themselves a whimsical wanker when they have performed by themselves to Wuthering Heights to an unexpecting crowd.

The highest form of praise for a whimsical one.
What a whimsical wanker... check out that whimsical wanker... my manager is a whimsical wanker
by Lauriciousltown December 31, 2011
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Wanker's Warts

Callouses formed on the hands of a chronic male masturbator. Also known as Wank Wounds.
Dude what's with your hands! You better go see a dermatologist.

No need braaaahhh. It's just wanker's warts. I've been fapping about 10 times a day for a while now.

You might want to ease off a bit there broooohhhh!
by Eaton Holgoode June 3, 2016
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Giger Wanker

A Giger Wanker is someone who straps themselves to a ceiling whilst wearing a gas mask and then proceeds to masturbate to a slide show of H.R. Giger paintings. Traditionally they will mutter, "this is normal, this is normal," to themselves until they cum when they will shout, "take that sexual perversion!"
"Why is every guy I meet gay, married or a Giger Wanker?"
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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wankers cramp

Soreness in the hand - and in particular, the wrist - brought on by excessive or inhuman levels of masturbation. Known to cause chafing and in some cases, bleeding, to the area in question.
Tom Hanks' character in Saving Private Ryan was a sufferer of Wankers cramp.
by CommieKras May 19, 2010
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Dubstep Wanker

Often jokingly reffered to as a Dubstep-o-sexual. A young sexually frustrated man who is actually aroused by the sound of a Dubstep bass-wobble. They will typically use songs by Skrillex or Borgore as a substitute for porn.

A tell-tale sign of a dubstep wanker is when a song they particularly like comes on the radio and they let out a high-pitched sound of exitement, not unlike a the cliche-fake-female orgasm
Person 1: *hears "Ruffneck" come on the radio* "OH MY GOD... mm I fucking love this track!"

Person 2: *under his breath* "total dubstep wanker..."
by ArcadeFire10 October 23, 2011
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Student Wankers

Those dirty posh uni cunts with a penchant for tweed & indie. The Student Wanker is not complete with out one or more piece of Ché Guvara merchandise & in in-depth knowlege of Neighbours. The Greater Spotted Student Wanker will consider themself witty & "out-there" due to their annoying "random" conversations & "wacky" geek chic. General pains in the backside.
See those student wankers in the student bar,
complaining to each other other that their grants don't go far.
With their silly student ties and their silly student scarves,
drinking draught real ale not in pints but halves.

Student Wankers, a fine song by Peter & The Test Tube Babies.
by Vambo September 20, 2006
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Wanker's Helmet

After wanking and shooting your load into a tissue, you make the fatal mistake of touching the tissue to your still wet and sticky cock. this causes the tissue to absorb some of your cum and, as wet paper does, separate. On removal of the tissue you may find small scraps still clinging to flesh. These scraps must be removed manually whether at the time of the offense or some time later (when they have gone hard!)
It is a tell tale sign you have been wanking.
"Bloody wanker's helmet" he muttered as he picked the wet flecks off his purple bulldog.

After going to the loo back at her place he was horrified to find he had wanker's helmet
by Tatteru May 18, 2009
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