Humorist PJ O'Rourke once stated, "I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with."
After one visit, it becomes apparent that God has obliged PJ with an entire University with suitable Church-goers.
Almost as a rule, the female students at Catholic sport oversized buttocks, and often a bit of a tummy (for when they fall asleep in Church leaning forward, perhaps?). Additionally, sweat pants with the Catholic logo are religiously (pardon the pun) purchased and worn, mainly because no jeans at A&F will fit.
PJ's theories are further proven by the intellect displayed by Catholic U students. The females, despite having zany and purely incorrect beliefs on what constitutes virginity (make sure he wears a condom!), are outdone by the males. On the one hand, they take some pride in living in one of the less-advantaged socio-economic areas of DC, but on the other hand they are quick to forget that they are provided with security that would have made the Marines at Khe Sahn green with envy. The entire campus is ringed with gates, security card checks, and other such nonsense so as to provide a safety barrier between the students and the 'murkier' folk they are surrounded by. While conversing with Catholic students, it is considered polite to drop the n-word several dozen times, even when discussing the question of why African-Americans are ambivalent about supporting the Republican Party.
If I haven't yet convinced you to pay CUA a visit, I should point out one last detail. As long as you can conjure an even half-way decent reason for them to not feel guilt, the women are easier than 123. I take no responsibility if the condom breaks, however.
After one visit, it becomes apparent that God has obliged PJ with an entire University with suitable Church-goers.
Almost as a rule, the female students at Catholic sport oversized buttocks, and often a bit of a tummy (for when they fall asleep in Church leaning forward, perhaps?). Additionally, sweat pants with the Catholic logo are religiously (pardon the pun) purchased and worn, mainly because no jeans at A&F will fit.
PJ's theories are further proven by the intellect displayed by Catholic U students. The females, despite having zany and purely incorrect beliefs on what constitutes virginity (make sure he wears a condom!), are outdone by the males. On the one hand, they take some pride in living in one of the less-advantaged socio-economic areas of DC, but on the other hand they are quick to forget that they are provided with security that would have made the Marines at Khe Sahn green with envy. The entire campus is ringed with gates, security card checks, and other such nonsense so as to provide a safety barrier between the students and the 'murkier' folk they are surrounded by. While conversing with Catholic students, it is considered polite to drop the n-word several dozen times, even when discussing the question of why African-Americans are ambivalent about supporting the Republican Party.
If I haven't yet convinced you to pay CUA a visit, I should point out one last detail. As long as you can conjure an even half-way decent reason for them to not feel guilt, the women are easier than 123. I take no responsibility if the condom breaks, however.
G-Town Student #1: "Dude, wanna go down to Union Station and hit on some Catholic University of America girls?"
G-Town Student #2: "Fuck no man, I want to actually earn my poon-tang tonight."
AU Student #1: "I'm so glad that I didn't apply to Catholic!"
AU Student #2: "AMEN Sister!"
by neinmeinstein November 30, 2006
a school where every middle school teacher gets triggered 24/7 af and your child’s mentality starts worsening 6th grade year throughout their middle school years later developing into depression
Sacred Heart Catholic School could get burned down the second someone turns on the microwave in the teacher’s lounge.
by Trash_menory15 April 05, 2019
by I can count January 21, 2015
Fucking bum ass school with teachers who are on your dick 24/7 if you don’t have a vagina or aren’t Croatian and get a fucking heart attack if they hear a curse word. Fuck Ms. Snell and Ms. Dondic they can suck my dick
by cOCkGUZzeler1243 June 21, 2018
a school where parents pay 12,000 dollars for their kids to be getting C’s and D’s on their report card. also a place where juuling has become the biggest issue and you no longer can sit in your own car for 5 mins because teachers think your up to something
by wjaodhebqksodidhe hi December 09, 2017
Young woman who (understandably) uses a denial streak a mile wide to justify having anal sex while retaining her "virginity". Her hymen hasn't been broken, therefore is still "Like a Virgin".
by Metepack December 28, 2013
Rccs is the most shit "catholic" school you’ll ever attend. Simply a school, grades K-8th where you learn nothing, some racist workers there that don’t give a damn, kids are mad annoying, lunch gets nastier every year, they let complete idiots graduate 8th grade, and lots of f boys and thots starting new drama each day.
It’s a "Spanish immersion school" but really the only things "Spanish" about the school is the lousy ass Hispanic girls in middle school that hang out in the bathroom, when the teachers try to speak Spanish, and the nasty quesadillas we had for lunch. Trust me pal, you don’t wanna go there.
It’s a "Spanish immersion school" but really the only things "Spanish" about the school is the lousy ass Hispanic girls in middle school that hang out in the bathroom, when the teachers try to speak Spanish, and the nasty quesadillas we had for lunch. Trust me pal, you don’t wanna go there.
Kris: Hey Joe did you hear about the school Risen Christ Catholic School?
Joe: Aw yeah I heard it sucks.
Edward: Maya didn’t you go to Risen Christ Catholic School?
Maya: Yes I did.
Edward: how was it?
Maya: Why don’t you ask my therapist Carol.
Joe: Aw yeah I heard it sucks.
Edward: Maya didn’t you go to Risen Christ Catholic School?
Maya: Yes I did.
Edward: how was it?
Maya: Why don’t you ask my therapist Carol.
by UglyTikToker May 14, 2020