Computer Vomit

When your computer (usually involves a Microsoft product) decides to print or display a screen full of unrecognizable jibberish. This often will happen for no apparent reason and at the worst possible times, like when you are trying to save something important or watch porn. This usually leads most people to either destroy said computer in a fit of uncontrollable rage or break down in tears, whichever works better.

I was trying to print out my weekly inventory report and then, BAM, computer vomit. Where's the blowtorch?!

by ccham March 12, 2011

computer sex

when you really wanna bang someone but ur only talking to them on the computer.

also when you wnt to give a guy a boner, all you have to do is have computer sex with him and you will get far...i promise

mary: hey sexy
lyle: omfg if i was there right now i would bang you
mary: lets have computer sex!
lyle: wow...u just gave me a boner
mary: oh yes lyle, oh YES!!!
lyle: HARDER...get it in there!!!

by ur pet fish February 19, 2009

computer geek

someone who is knowledgeable in things related to computers, internet, softwre, hardware, etc. beyond the average person.

See also Dork.

Tom is so great with photoshop you'd think he's a computer geek or something.

by HomerCO March 5, 2004

Personal Computer

A tenacious and vindictive machine, whose primary function in the domestic sphere at the conclusion of the 20th century was electronic solitaire, yet within one year of the 21st century literally held every aspect of human life in its hands.

My personal computer is way too personal.

by nethcev! September 8, 2006

computer nigger

A information technology worker (or network administrator) who is not qualified or certified as a IT person but nevertheless performs these functions for an organization that does not have a budget for IT functions and tasks. The worker usually solves computer problems through trial and error and learns as he (or she) proceeds. Most of the problems solved should be figured out without this individual through online help menus.

Hey Bill, when I print this document the margins get cut-off. Why do the margins get cut-off?

Other employees: Bill is the computer nigger here.

by John Alexander December 28, 2006

computer flu

when you computer runs REALLY slow!

Jeph: Damn it why wont you work *computer types really slow*

Dan: your computer has computer flu

by corrupchoas12 June 26, 2009

necktop computer

A flash drive worn around the neck on a lanyard. Generally the property of computer geeks or people like me, when the company doesn't supply a laptop but expects us to have numerous files at our fingertops. Also: necktop

I pulled all the files off my necktop computer and left them with the manager.

by Edith Rudy July 11, 2007