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fucked up like a football bat

Adjective. A phrase used to describe some one who is really screwed up personally and mentally.
John is "fucked up like a football bat."
That's "fucked up like a football bat."
by SamuraiJack January 19, 2008
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silent football

A game played mainly by men. People sit in a circle and follow a strict code of rules. There are many rules and defining them here is in essence, against the rules. The game is lost by accumulating the most points. The loser usually must complete a task decided by the other players of the game.
After playing a game of SF mike had to strip and start singing.
by Mike June 21, 2004
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Football

*Not to be confused with American Football.
Football, often called 'The Beautiful Game', is invented by the English and is the most popular sport worldwide. The general objective of the game is to score more goals in their goal than the other team. It has two teams, each with eleven players separated into 4 positions:

*Goalkeeper

*Defence

*Midfield

*Attack

It comprises of two goals on either side of the pitch, with each team owning their own half. The goal that they want to shoot in is on the opposite side to their half.
Each team starts on one side of the pitch, which changes in the second half, and consequently so does the goal they want to shoot in.The game lasts for about 90 minutes (not including extra time) split into two 45 minute halfs, separated by a 10-15 minute 'half time' period.
American: Hey, d'ya wanna play some soccer?

English: What, you mean Football?

American: No, it's called soccer.

English: NO, it's called Football! We invented it!

American: IT'S SOCCER!

Rest of World: It's called Football, OK? Now just play!
by eden1023 December 8, 2011
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american football

A internationally irrelevant sport that is very boring to 99% of the planets population. THe only reason Americans care so much about it is because they invented it and its part of their culture. Kind of like how Japanese people carea about sumo wrestling and no one else does. Another similarity between American football and sumo wrestling is the overweight "athletes". In this sport, a 350lb tub of lard can be considered a "star".
American: The whole world watches the Superbowl!!

Englishman: What a "superbowl"? Some kind of fruit salad?

Brazilian: Huh? Sorry never heard of it..

Italian: Don't know what that is.

INSERT NATIONALITY HERE: WTF is american football? Looks like a pussified version of rugby with padding.
by Bobson Keneth November 23, 2007
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Mariner High's Football Team

The worst freaking Team in the history of time...........
61 to 0....damn Mariner High's Football Team sucks!
by Mariner High School April 14, 2011
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Football

Nickname for the president's briefcase that houses a laptop that is rumored to have strategic command capability.

Believed to be in the charge of the federal courier service and not the secret service.
The Football is handcuffed to the courier's wrist.
by Seriphimarchangel December 14, 2008
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American Football

A sport in which a group of players with assigned positions and jobs on the field try to score Touchdowns by either running or passing the ball down a 100yd. field.

Typically insulted by European peoples and compared to the sport of Rugby.

Often considered not as hard as Rugby, due to the addition of body padding, though the padding is completely necessary. Back in the late 1890's-1920's, there was an astounding number of football related injuries and deaths due to the lack of bodily protection offered to players. Players still receive injuries and are still considered by some to be playing a life threatening sport, but the addition of hard plastic helmets with facemasks and pads add durability and endurance to players.

usually demands that players be in peak physical and mental condition, due to having to run a 100yd field, dodge defenders and linemen, and catch passes made by the Quarterback. Mental strength is required for memorizing all of the terminology associated and with memorizing all of the plays utilized by the teams and coaches.
Often compared to Rugby, American Football is a physically and mentally demanding sport requiring speed, strength, agility, and endurance.
by Boogle-doops January 7, 2011
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