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wanker's length

1.An arbitary unit of measurement, defined as the maximum length of toilet paper used when cleaning ones spunk from the carpet (8 sheets).

2.Used as an insult, meaning you are toilet paper covered in nob sneeze.
1. I was literally a wanker's length from getting the bus.

2. He was really tall, about one and a half wanker's lengths.

3.It is about a 200 wanker's length walk to the shops.

4.You fucking dumb wanker's length.
by Joniquai March 20, 2005
mugGet the wanker's lengthmug.

Coffee Wanker

The act of ordering a Ridiculously long named coffee normally from a franchise coffe shop such as starbucks.

These people are called coffee wankers.
Jesus Victoria couldnt you have just ordered a large White coffee from starbucks instead of a Grande Skinny Latte with soya milk, twist of lemon and a sprinkle of Cinnamon and shot of vanilla? you dirty coffee wanker.
by Moonbizzle III September 25, 2009
mugGet the Coffee Wankermug.

bloody wanker

joe and mark are bloody wankers, they stole my bike
by james jenki February 18, 2009
mugGet the bloody wankermug.

Whimsical Wanker

When a person (or manager) acts like a disney princess or as if they were living in a musical. They often like dogs, and sometimes enjoy being inappropriate with condoms in pubs.

A whimsical wanker can often be found swimming on the dancefloor.

A highly entertaining person.

A person can truly call themselves a whimsical wanker when they have performed by themselves to Wuthering Heights to an unexpecting crowd.

The highest form of praise for a whimsical one.
What a whimsical wanker... check out that whimsical wanker... my manager is a whimsical wanker
by Lauriciousltown December 31, 2011
mugGet the Whimsical Wankermug.

bike wanker

A perjorative term used to describe wankers that ride bicycles. A repost to the inbetweeners' "Bus wankers!" insult, this is often used by people at bus stops toward cyclists who pass by.
"He shouted "Bike wanker", and threw a stone at me"

"If anyone called me a bike wanker I'd smash them in the face with my helmet"

"Bike wanker!"
by borisyegerov February 5, 2010
mugGet the bike wankermug.

Dirty Wanker

A term for someone who jerks off a lot, but more commonly used by middle-schoolers for humor.
"Hey Bro! Wanna go shoot some hoops?" "Shut the fuck up you Dirty Wanker!"
by TmoneyTheRealO.G January 5, 2015
mugGet the Dirty Wankermug.

Wanker's Warts

Callouses formed on the hands of a chronic male masturbator. Also known as Wank Wounds.
Dude what's with your hands! You better go see a dermatologist.

No need braaaahhh. It's just wanker's warts. I've been fapping about 10 times a day for a while now.

You might want to ease off a bit there broooohhhh!
by Eaton Holgoode June 3, 2016
mugGet the Wanker's Wartsmug.

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