turd catcher

A tissue or piece of toilet paper placed on the water in the toilet used to prevent the water from splashing up your ass while taking a dump.

Wow if I hadn't used a turd catcher, I would have had to take a shower after that dump.

Oh my God! I definitely should have used a turdcatcher on that one.

by NIGHTWALKER July 30, 2008

turd stew

When you shit, piss, and cum in a girl's mouth and use your dick as ladle to stir up the delicious soup.

Jenny just ate a fresh bowl of my turd stew!

by the gordano September 14, 2010

turd nigger

A nigger or niglet that is made out of shit.

"What smells like excrement?" "Oh, it must be that god damn turd nigger over there!"

by Andre O. March 8, 2008

Skin a turd

To exhibit overwhelming prudence in financial or budgetary matters.

"Our finances will be OK in Dave's capable hands. He'd skin a turd that guy..."

by Diamond Tee April 9, 2009

man turd

Someone who is a human piece of shit.

RULLUR is a big man turd.

by Prick yourself October 7, 2005

Turd Bird

A "sculpture" sold in Stuckey's gas stations in the 1970s. The "bird" was composed of a dried piece of dung with toothpick legs, googly eyes, little feather wings and a plastic beak.

These "sculptures" stood upon a small plastic base that featured the words "turd bird" preceded by the name of the state in which one purchased the item. Thus, if traveling through Montana, one could purchase a Montana Turd Bird, and when one reached Wyoming, one could stop at a Stuckey's and purchase a Wyoming Turd Bird. The poosibilities were endless.

I've been to all 48 contiguous states and I have a Turd Bird from every one of them to prove it.

I'm so depressed, I just found out they don't have Stuckey's in Hawaii. I so wanted a Hawaiian Turd Bird.

by Dave of the Dean December 16, 2008

Pinecone Turd

A turd that is extremely hard and painful to pass whether the turd be spicy or contains shards of glass.

After I slammed that pinecone turd my diarrhea hole bled for eight years.

by TheAnacondors November 5, 2007